TERRI'S WEIRD & WACKED OUT LIFE!

More Of My Own Cake Creations!

2012-01-04T04:32:00.000-05:00

I made two Christmas cakes this year..did these in TWO days one for baking and one for decorating..I even got an order for the first one for a work Christmas party for the 21 st on Jan! ..the first one is actually a very easy cake to do..all done with the star tips. It's a single layer cake. The pan is a pan made By Bakers Secret .I usually only use Wilton pans..but these Santa pans were darn cute couldn't resist! I also try to make all my cakes with my special butter cream frosting..most people hate the taste of fondant, but I do use it on occasion when I have no choice.

This cake is done using the Vintage Santa pan by Nordic Ware. BEWARE! this pan bakes this in TWO pieces..this is NOT a cake for the amateur baker! I've been doing cakes for a long time now..and this one made me want to pull my hair out! But once I got the two halves securely together..the rest was a piece of cake! I have to say..I love these santa cakes!

Now this cake lol..umm...our youngest (23 year old) got upset last year that I made the Eeyore cake for his girlfriend and didn't do something as special for him...so this year he got this! This design was made by using the Wilton pans..a heart shaped for the bottom, and the sports ball pan to make the "buns" lol This is called a BOOTY CAKE. I free styled it as I didn't want to shell out $30 + dollars for a pan I may only use once. And it only took 2 1/2 hours to bake cool and decorate..so this is a quick cake to make.

I tried to do this as tastefully as possible.

Apparently a tattoo on the lower female back is called a "tramp stamp" and this design is actually a truck decoration design! If you look close enough you;ll see it is two naked girl silhouettes. This is actually what he wanted the WHOLE cake to be..I thought this was a nicer way to present it.


He cut it this way..give new meaning to half assed!

I was given two wonderful gifts this year, first for my birthday a counter top convection oven..I was able to bake all these cakes in it! AMAZING! and then for Christmas..I got the one thing I have wanted for years..

My dream mixer!


All the attachments I can get for it!

This thing has so many things it can do..and from what I understand there are more attachments then what I am showing here! I will say this much..it cut my work time almost in HALF! and here I didn't want to spend the money on one! But I sure can deal with it now as it was a gift! hehehe! I know most women would be horrified at kitchen appliances for gifts..but not me..I love this stuff! Well hope you enjoyed all the pictures..I'm thinking maybe a BUMBLE cake for Christmas next year...just have to figure out how to make him 3D...lol

Just When I thought my heart was safe...

2011-12-13T07:12:00.000-05:00

I thought, yeah, I'm doing OK, not too bad considering. Maybe time to go write in the blog... And yes, I know I don't come here to write nearly enough anymore..But hey, life has a way of getting in the way of doing things I really want to do sometimes, and something has to give and usually it's my blog.

Well, I'm back...probably because I can not sleep, haven't slept much since last week to be honest. Yeah I'm tired but, hell, I can sleep when I die, right?

I'm finding myself in quite a dilemma...I met someone, or should I say know someone, who, ..ummm, all of a sudden, just became someone I really want to know better.(cue cupid) It's not a good situation, but the feelings seem to be returned whole heartedly. We are both fighting the attraction, and failing miserably, at least I am. Personally, I think he's running fast the other way!

I think, I finally, after all these damn years, met my match in all ways..I used to scoff at the thought of a
"SOUL Mate", I'm not laughing anymore. Now, I'm running scared... I, my friends, have met the man of my dreams.( and WOW the dreams I have been having lately), And the funny thing is I've known him for years now..Just never saw him for who he really is.

A handsome, highly intelligent, some what shy, yet confident and very compassionate man!
A contradictory I find intriguing to say the least! His intelligence alone makes me feel like I don't know enough, He challenges me to want to be the person I've always wanted to be, A wife,the perfect hostess, the enticing lover, a help mate, one of a twosome, kids and all..and oh yeah, did I say the enticing lover? lol. But alas! even if we found a way to be everything else, kids will never be part of it, too late now.
Why didn't we meet years ago?

And it makes me wonder, why at this point in my life did I meet this man? I know there is a reason, has to be!
But, what really scares me the most is, is this punishment for something I did wrong, a sort of karma, slapping me upside my head? Yeah, that would be about right for me...I never get anything I really want in life..ever.

But you ask why can't you be together, if you both feel this way, (well, at least I do, he implies it) It's this simple...He is Married...Let's face it if he WAS happily married,(which because of things he has done and said makes me think he is really unhappy), would I be enough temptation to turn his head? NO way!

I'm nothing special, though he seems to think I am. He's the one who is way above me on the social ladder, the one who has it all going for him, why on earth would he be interested in me, poor pathetic excuse for a woman if I ever saw one! I'm no spring chicken anymore, and certainly not the slim, beautiful woman I was a few years ago! Illness and medications have taken their toll. But he sees something in me, not sure what, but it's had me feeling like a high school girl with her first crush all over again, instead of the cool, calm, collected, sometimes confident, sometimes intelligent woman, who locked her heart up tight, to stop from letting lecherous men into her life to rule her and use her, and make her forget that this shit hurts!

But NOoooooo..that sneaky man scaled my towering walls with flattery, smiled the sexy smile, and looked at me with such longing, that, even though I saw him coming, I forgot to turn and run, He leaped over my castle walls, and broke through my cold hearted exterior, yeah that one, you know, the one I put up to protect me! WTF??? Has the Ice Princess finally been melted?

Seems life just throws me one sucker punch after another, and loves to dangle that forbidden apple in front of me and sing out loud..Na na na na na na!

Well, folks, I'm tempted enough to take a huge bite out of that apple, real tempted.

And yes, I know how he feels, tempted but scared to take that bite, though he was man enough to kiss me!(yeah, shocker! I saw that coming too and did nothing to stop him, imagine that?)
Makes me want more, more then I can have. OH, I want him, in every which way..and I would show that man what a real woman can do to him, he might turn me inside out, but given the chance, I can give that back and then some..

But, I am a coward, a no one.. just little old fashioned me, feeling the pangs of cupid's friggin arrow..only it seems he aimed wrong and hit me in the ass! And now that's where my head has taken refuge, and it seems it wont come out! I t figures it would happen... Just when I thought my heart was safe.............

Update on life in general...

2011-07-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

Well, here I am...checking in..yeah yeah I know...where the hell have you been???

let's just say...living life.

I find that I am doing somewhat better physically, and seem to not spend as much time on the computer as I used to..which is probably one reason I have lost a little bit of weight.

I started to garden again, first time in years, and find I am so far able to keep up with the work. The heat of the past few days though has been brutal! My sweat's sweat was sweating! But I have pushed myself to get out of the house and water the gardens, go shopping etc.. even in this heatwave...of course I end up crawling back into the house to shower and sit in the air conditioning!

I find that I will soon have too much time on my hands as my man is going to drive over the road being gone for long periods of time leaving me to my own devices..While I will miss him ..I am going to devote wome real time to ME...yes imagine that? just to ME!!!!
( wonder what kind of trouble I can get into? insert evil laugh here)

I plan on painting the walls, steam cleaning the couch and rugs, redoing the closet,losing more weight, and I am determined to start singing again! not to mention a ton of other things too..

Now, I am probably not going to be able to do ALL that stuff realistically...but hey I can dream right?
Of course it may be that I will be so lonely I will start to blog on a more regular basis!

Things are going good with my family, my mom is home, and my brother got his divorce finally, and is back in the fold! we are spending time together as a family and it's been so WONDERFUL!!!!!!

I don't think I realized just how much we were all missing out on, the four of us kids, my guy, my sister's husbands, BOTH our parents, and my dad's fiance all have WICKED humor..and all actually think alike!
( everyone of us women brought bday cakes last weekend to my brother's house for his bday when we all went there for a cookout! seriously we ALL did it was really funny 5 cakes!) ALL of us! go figure..
my dad said it's like watching us like when we were as kids..loud and hilarious and full of ourselves! and LOUD...oh yeah did I say that? and he told my guy it was nice to see us all back to ourselves again, my guy said, yeah well Terri just said that about you too!

I didn't realize how incomplete my life was without them till I got them back..we are all doing the silly things(like sticking ear swabs in the nose and making beeping noises!) we did as kids and reminiscing about the past, just really trying to make up for all the lost time. We have played games, and ate till we burst! Just the feeling of being WHOLE again is so .. fulfilling... Just makes me want to burst with happiness.

And then we come home...and our kid and his wife are at it again...yeah depressing..guess they are finally all done. A divorce is imminent. might be for the best all around, as all they do is fight. It's sad really when you think of how they fought all of us to be together since high school..spent like 8 years together even had a kid..now they just want to give up. Well we give up..we just can't ride the emotional roller coaster these kids are dragging us on anymore. they are adults..and we need to live our lives without dealing with trying to fix theirs. Sad but true...I just feel so bad for the little one..he will be the one paying the price in the end..

Now, I know what a broken home is like..not fun..and though things are great now for me..the road to my happiness was paved with a ton of thorns...actually it was a hellish road back to this point, if I am truthful, and I am wise enough to know not all families can fix their problems, and learn to enjoy each other all over again once the hurts have been healed..actually it rarely happens and I am blessed..truly blessed that neither of my parents ever trashed the other and they to this day actually don't mind being in the same room together!

All our family days now include both parents, and my dad's fiance and mom and dad's fiance actually love to talk to each other. yes I am truly truly blessed!!!! I no longer have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings by liking everyone..(don't ask me to clarify that you really don't want to know!)

Now that I have filled you all in on the past few months...are you still awake? Hope fully next time I will have something really interesting to say...never know with me!

REAL LIFE ISSUES

2011-05-05T01:09:00.000-04:00

Well, I know I haven't written in quite a while ...yet again.. sorry.

Real Life just has a way of dealing you blow after blow sometimes.

My life is just taken up with doctor visits and therapy sessions to the point that I don't know if I am coming or going most days! lol BUT! I am getting better! and that is what counts right?

Recent events are as such...My step father passed, and my mom is now moved to my state and living with a sister. I had a house full of people for Easter (something I haven't been able to do for a few years now) and had a wonderful time with my family!
My father has sold my childhood home and is moving on with his life with his new fiance.
My BF's niece just got married last weekend to a really great man.
A friend of mine is struggling with chemo treatments and hair loss but will be a breast cancer survivor! I try to give her as much support as I can.
Also my BF's brother is dying from pancreatic cancer as did his mother a few years ago. So to say I am dealing with a lot might be an understatement!

But I have faith that things must get better soon...right?

Well now you know I am still alive and kicking! hope all of you are too!

Recovering pieces from the past...Literally

2010-11-30T00:23:00.000-05:00

When My guy's father passed, My man inherited a lot of things...some of which personally I couldn't understand why in the world he would keep them, I guess it's just taking him some time to let go. But there were some things he really was partial to, and the memories that come with the two, circa 1950's rocking chairs are some he really cherishes. They were old, and the the vinyl cracked in the move, the chrome was pitted and the rockers paint was chipped showing the original color underneath. Yes, I said chrome rockers. VERY unusual! One was his Grandfather's and one was his Grandmother's kinda like the mama and the papa's chairs from Goldilocks!

One is big and one is small. I knew he wanted to save them, and use them, and recovering them was the only option. Not to mention some serious polishing of the chrome before I would deem them usable again. We argued about vinyl verses material almost a year! He wanted them to look as close to the original print as possible. I searched and searched for vinyl, it was no use, there was NO way I was ever going to come close to a match, and yes I searched the internet, it was exhausting. Then one day about two months ago we were walking through a new thrift shop in town and low and behold! upholstery material in a print that was so similar to the original print I just knew I had to have it! I called my guy over and pointed it out...

I was shocked! He actually agreed! And so I bought the remnants, a print for the tops and a solid for the bottoms, in the correct colors and it all cost only $9. What a deal! I did however have to buy the trim at a fabric store. I started bugging him to polish the chrome cause I was starting the upholstery job..I'm not sure but I think he thought I might not be up to the job, or maybe was waiting to see if I really knew what I was doing, but he soon found uot it wasn't my first rodeo! lol I had the first chair covered in less then two hours, and the second one the next day in even less time! Now mind you I am not saying it was easy, I was just fortunate that I had done similar work before and knew what I was doing, even if it did hurt my hands and tire me out!

Once he knew I meant business, he got down to work polishing that chrome..lol hehehe it took him longer to do that then it took me to recover the tops and bottoms! the worst part was that he was polishing a bracket on an electric polishing wheel and the wheel caught it, pulled it out of his hands, spun it around hard and spit it at his stomach! OUCH! Was he ever in pain from that one! He still has a huge red mark where it hit poor guy! lol Yeah, I know, I am mean laughing, but I cant help it. Anyway, the chairs are done, but to my utmost horror, he forgot to take before photos!!!!!! I am upset, but will live. lol I did however take some after photos! we still have to paint the rockers, but we are going to wait till the spring to do so, and they will be going back to their original black.

The little chair fits me perfectly, and the big one fits him! I hope to make some fond memories of us sitting in those chairs so that our children or grandchildren will one day want these chairs and will cherish them the way we will.

Here are the pictures.
Papa chair

mama chair

mama seat

papa seat

the rockers that still need paint

the trim on mama chair

the trim on the papa chair

mama and papa chairs side by side to show the difference in size

And it doesn't hurt that they happen to match our living room colors either! Believe it or not these are very comfortable!

My Thanksgiving...

2010-11-29T23:50:00.000-05:00

I know I know! too long in between posts! But I'm trying...I just am very busy.

I had looked forward to this Thanksgiving because I knew all my surviving siblings and father would be together for the first Thanksgiving in over twenty years! I just wish my mother could have been there too..how perfect that would have been! Hopefully next year??? MOM???

Anyway, as I was saying, I was looking forward to this one..I had been extremely ill and bed ridden for three weeks between October and November, I was in and out of the hospital, had various blood work and procedures( they even checked to see if North met South ) done trying to find out what the heck hit me so hard, seems it was some kind of infection...they never did find it, just gave me some heavy duty antibiotics and prayed they would work! I'm still not one hundred percent, but I am back on my feet, and fighting mad! needless to say I was slightly panicked that I would miss Thanksgiving. fortunately a week before, the fever I had had for three weeks finally broke, and on the road to recovery I went!

Now, Thanksgiving ..The food was wonderful, my FAMILY was exceptionally wonderful, and I was able to pull off the dessert surprise I had had planned before I got ill. (I will insert pictures at the end of this story)

My sister had decided that this year was for the ADULTS only (meaning us old farts) and that her children our children, and my sisters children and all their children (the grand kids) were on their on for the first time ever! This I may add did NOT greatly amuse the children of the sister who was our hostess! Not in the least, as a matter of fact one of her grandchildren threw the biggest hissy fit at having to leave with her mommy to go to her aunt's house for dinner! Couldn't help ourselves we laughed our asses off! My poor sister has these kids on top of her day in and day out and deserved to enjoy us and have some peace and quiet, even if only for a few hours! She made us laugh after dinner as she actually sat down with a bottle of wine, took a BIG swig and then said " SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You hear that?"..to which we all kinda said "what?".. she said "It's quiet!" lol oh what a belly laugh that gave us all. I have to say overall everything was perfect..escept for one little blemish...
My sister in law....
The bane of my existence! I really despise this woman, I can't help it, she singles me out to try to make me look stupid or to try to piss me off to get me react in a negative way to upset me and ruin the gathering...she has always done this and has for years kept our brother far from the family, I think he stayed away because she is so embarrassing to him..but only he knows that for sure. I do know that you could have cut the tension with a knife between those two!

I tried my best to not have to talk to her, and to keep her away from me, I have this problem with holding my tongue and really didn't want to ruin anyone's day. Man O Man I wanted to pop her right in the kisser! My poor guy was squeezing my leg under the table to keep me steady as this bitch planted her ass right next to me at the dinner table! she knows I don't like her..it was done to annoy me, she took the seat away from my brother in law...I was NOT amused in the least. unfortunately this is the stuff that kept me away from my family for years, she wasn't suppose to be there but she followed my brother in a separate car and just kinda showed up. I don't think anyone was happy about it. And I could see how upset my brother was as I think he was trying to get the hell away from her, and just enjoy his family he rarely gets to see. Needless to say she did a lot of annoying things, apparently pissed my brother off pretty good, and left without thanking the hostess or saying goodbye! not that I care personally, but geez that was rude! There is a lot more to the story, but alas not really for the internet.

Suffice to say I made it through in one piece...Barely. I did not have my Xanax to lean on, and biting my tongue really hurt! But the emotional toll it took upon me was worse then I let on to my family. When dealt with this kind of upsetting stuff I can get physically ill from the stress. I kinda slept in the whole next day just to get back on an even keel. Next family gathering you can bet your ass I wont forget to bring some Xanax!

Then when we got home..my guy decided to "surprise" me with a planned ( I was the only one in the dark) visit with his oldest, his wife and the grandson...It was better then usual, but after one hour I couldn't take the kid anymore...he just does not listen to NO, and still at two is not talking! I did get him to play for a few with the magnet letters and numbers I got him for here, but sitting on a hard kitchem floor in front of the fridge wasn't the best move on my part! lol yup, getting too old to sit like that, getting up was...memorable to say the least!

Well now that I am done whining, I will say this...I LOVE my family, I am blessed that we are finding each other again, I didn't realize how much I was missing out on staying away because of the mean people that I couldn't deal with, two are passed on...now I just have the one to deal with, My sincerest hope is that my brother finds a way to deal with her so that he can also be happy for once in his life, I know she was his choice and have to respect it...but I sure don't have to like it! I feel bad for him, and I miss him and wish him the best.

OK, now to the pictures! This turkey is comprised of 28 sugar cookie maple leaves adhered to lollipop sticks with milk chocolate, a sugar cookie with coca mixed in for the front and wings, and two pounds of chocolate molded into a hollow bowl and filled with molded chocolate in shapes of leaves, pumpkins, turkeys and other fall things.

The next day, my sister, the hostess, called to tell me how wonderful this desert turkey was! then she told me that the chocolate was so good that she couldn't stop eating it! then said" I HAD to send it home with the kids or I would have eaten it all!" Oops! sorry sis! lol but so glad to know you enjoyed it.

Haiku's.....

2010-10-11T22:06:00.000-04:00

Scent Of a Rose

Soft bloom of the rose
scent the memories past,
like winds tickle my nose

MEMORIES

MIND SWIRLING, SHIFTING
MEMORIES BURNING MY MIND
PARTS OF MY LIFE LOST

Medications, What a Trip!

2010-10-09T06:59:00.002-04:00

Hello out there! I'm back! Did you miss me? probably not.. but that 's OK, I understand, I know I haven't really been here to keep you all interested, but I am hoping to change that and possibly win a few of you back.

The past couple of years have been a tough and winding road for me health wise, and I have had some of the strangest experiences trying new medications! One doctor prescribes this, another prescribes that..if it wasn't for my strictly using one pharmacy, who knows where my mind would be...snicker.

I have been diagnosed with yet more health problems...um yeah well I knew SOMETHING was wrong, just wonder why it took so long to get the doctors to see it??? anyone got an answer for that one? I bet you don't.
It seems that they put you through the ropes, and pinch and poke you, prod you, drain quarts of blood, and generally screw your mind up with," I don't know it could be"...(possible diagnosis here)
Only to have the tests come back negative...go figure!

As I traipse through this world trying to live what I deem as a half life, I wonder, am I barking up the wrong tree? s it time for yet another NEW doctor? It's hard to find a good doctor these days that really care and really listen to you, I had that in Dr P, yeah, we all know what's going on with him, and I thought I had it bad? My heart goes out to him.

Doc, you ever find this blog I just want to you to know that the world lost one of the best endocrinologists and GP I have ever had the privilege to know. I hope some day, after they fry those bastards, you find some kind of peace, and maybe find your way back to your practice. If you ever do you will find me fighting to be the first in line to welcome you back. The practice isn't the same without you...Your employees miss you so much. Don't get me wrong Dr.G is great...but Doc, he isn't you. God,( if there is a God), broke the mold when he made you.

Now to get back on track.. Sorry folks just had to get that off my chest. As I meandered through this so called life of pain and weariness for the last 10+ years, I wondered is this it? Am I never to really really enjoy my life again? I searched high and low, tried all kinds of doctors and I am glad to say It finally seems I found a few doctors, a few because I have so many things wrong, I need specialists!, that are actually starting to make some headway into figuring out my traitorous, cantankerous body.

It seems that along with the foot problems, glaucoma, retinal detachments, diabetes, acid reflux, sleep apnea, internal woman problems and 16 spots of who knows what in my right breast (awaiting mammogram) it seems that a doctor has finally figured out the pain problems! yup chronic pain, pain so bad you just want to crawl into a dark hole six feet under, shut off the lights, tune out the sound and just never wake up, at least some days. I have become somewhat reclusive, can no longer enjoy dancing, gardening,crafting things, sewing, heck I even lost the energy to cook food, never mind trying to keep a house in order, can't carry laundry baskets..heck my back is so bad right now can't lift my own fat ass at times. It seems that the pain is Rheumatoid arthritis, AND Fibromyologia , Yes folks finally after all these years someone took me seriously and got to the bottom of it, of course there may also be another auto-immune disease going on,(sure why not add something more as if I don't have enough already), but for now this is where they are concentrating their efforts to at least make my life semi-comfortable.

Now to get to the point of this writing, first notice I am actually WRITING in my blog...um yup something that kinda got too painful to do...but I digress...must get there from here first.

Medications...I take multiple medications daily, making it a necessity to have one of those weekly pill thingies with the days of the week in nice big letters! I take this in the morning, that in the after noon..the next ones somewhere between then and the night doses!

Then the new doctor started adding to this...he tried antidepressants, which was like a roller coaster ride, forgot how many I tried before I said enough! seems taking those do very strange and not so wonderful things to my brain, it's up, it's down, and sometimes it was spinning around! and that's a conservative description my friends! needless to say, I am super sensitive to a LOT of drugs..the bane of my existence, and of course I had to SHOW the new doctor because he didn't believe anyone could BE that sensitive...yeah I showed him alright! at my expense, but you know what? I did what he asked of me, at this point I was willing to face bungee jumping to get rid of this pain! (well maybe I should rephrase that being as I have this terrible aversion to heights?) anyway, he finally admitted defeat in the antidepressant category, hey I tried to tell him even WITH all my problems, not to mention being broke ass poor, I really wasn't DEPRESSED.. SO next came the CHEMO....
Yes chemo, no not for cancer, for the RA...it's used as an anti- inflammatory ..four plus months of once a week....take it on a Thursday, puke my guts out all day, sleep the next two, start feeling better, and here comes Thursday all over again..I gave it the ol' college try, I really did, I promised I would, last week I had had enough, I just couldn't go on that way anymore. I did learn one thing though, if I ever do get cancer....ain't no f-ing way your getting that crap down my throat again, just ain't gonna happen folks, just give me some Morphine and let me fly outta this life! Anywho! thank goodness it isn't something I need to contend with at this time, and I hope never to have to but with my track record, never say never, cause Murphy's Law just might step and bitch slap me right upside the head if I do!

Well, folks, I am here to tell you I am on new medications, now mind you the doctor said, it will take some adjustment, uhhuh, and that I should take it easy, uhhuh( like I'm gonna be doing jumping jacks any time soon? NOT!) and that it's not miracle drugs and it takes time for them to work..uhhuh

Day one: New drugs, Lyrica, and Avaida and oxycodone..respectively for Fibro and RA and pain. 5AM Thursday: Replace chemo with these, go back to sleep, oh that"s right what sleep? in so much pain been up all night anyway, finally fall into exhausted sleep around 7 AM ..9AM WIDE AWAKE! what the hell? felt like my eyes were bugging out a little, and well I felt like I was a little too peppy if you get my drift? (refer to black beauties )

Wide awake and nothing to do...wait, I can move my fingers without pain. No swelling, no stiffness..yes folks, just one dose of the Avaida,(which by the way can kill my liver so the vampires need my blood once a month to keep an eye on this) and my hands felt the best they have felt in years. It's a miracle!
It's at this point I try to stand up, the room spins and I'll be dammed if the floor wasn't heaving too! My balance was so off I was wondering if it was me or if the whole house was moving, sort of like Dorothy's farm house in the Wizard of OZ. No such luck, though the thought of going to OZ was pretty intriguing, nope it was just me, and just a reaction to the Lyrica. Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't quite as horrible as it sounded, No my friends I was flying high as the birdies in the summer skies, just gliding on the soft warm breezes...I sat my fat ass back down to enjoy the ride some. I soon enough lowered softly back to ground as my equilibrium came back, and I realized, Hey, I feel ALIVE.....I"M ALIVE!!!!!!

Now as luck would have it the men weren't home all day and didn't get to share all of my wonderful tripping, but by the time they got home I was on a good level ground, or so I thought, here I have to chuckle, and please understand this, for the last few years of pain, I withdrew, and really didn't get into long conversations with anyone, pain has a funny way of doing that to you, Well these poor unsuspecting men came home after a hard days work thinking to eat and watch a show, take a shower, relax, and then go to bed...In stead they got a super excited, talkative woman, whose mouth kept moving so fast it it was doing about 60 mph (insert evil chuckle here) Now mind you...I don't realize I am doing this, but I am noticing the strange looks they keep giving each other...One of them looks at me and says what the hell are you on? can you shut the hell up?
seems I was interrupting the news..very important part, the weather forecast.
I say what? am I talking too much? and then realize yeah I am and start to laugh my ass off! and then proceeded to talk some more, Sad to say it was an early to bed night for the men. SO much for my captive audience.

OK, so now I'm a few days into the meds, and not feeling too bad still, I actually went to the mall, and if you know me shopping isn't really my thing, but hey I felt like walking, so I went. I must say though they(medications) seem to be working fast on me, they do not touch the pain in my lower back, even the Flexeril or oxycodone doesn't completely take that away, just makes it more bearable.
Now Oxycodone,(a story in itself) just a small dose too, wow, yup,I now know why they are so expensive on the streets, and I know why people could get so addicted to them..oh yes, this is a nice drug...I haven't felt this good in years, but I am proud to say I do not have an addictive personality, and use this type of drug sparingly. But oh boy do I really get it now. And to think I passed on these the first time he offered.

The medications he gave me may finally be the ONES...will I get better? well no not really, they will just make me more comfortable, I will always have RA and Fibro, the meds will just help the quality of my life, and allow me to at least walk amongst the living again. Something I haven't really done in a long time. And I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this year, my family, in one place, together on a holiday, no little kids to distract us, time for us to build on our bonds, make peace and fix the holes of our dysfunction, the only piece missing is mom, but were trying to move her to this state as soon as possible do who knows, maybe next year all the holes will be plugged.

And so my friends, I am finely getting some very much sought relief. Will it last? Time will tell. I can only say I am crossing everything I have to cross including my boobs!

UPDATE: MAY 2011

I had to go off all the meds except the pain meds as they started to cause liver damage. Back to the beginning all over again it seems! So I am trying physical therapy now.

AUTUMN HAIKU

2010-10-04T00:47:00.000-04:00

Autumn leaves fly free...
the whisper of cool breezes
life, silent...passes

An email I was sent....

2010-06-11T23:04:00.002-04:00

I was sent a wonderfully uplifting email recently. I have always wanted to start my own cake shop, but due to health issues, and of course money problems, not to mention the economy right now...just wasn't in the cards.
However, I have put some of my creations on here for other's to see...and That is what this emails is all about!

EMAIL:

"hello ms Terri my name is (name removed for privacy reasons) i was going thru the Internet and a cake that you baked caught my eye i love Winnie the pooh and I'm having my first baby November 21.2010 but my baby shower is in October a week before Halloween and i was wondering if the cake you baked for Jennifer's baby shower could you bake one for me like that i was in love with the cake as soon as i layed my eyes on it i know this is a question coming from a person you don't know but you're work is beautiful and i only 18 but i know what i want and you're the only person that can do it so could you please write me back a.s.a.p at (email address removed for privacy reasons) thank you for you're time you do wonderful work"

WOW, This is a big request! lol I am sincerely flattered and did write back to her. I don't know the first thing about how I would ship something that big, and have my doubts as to if it would make it intact decorated!
I am not a professional unfortunately. I did however tell her to send her phone number and we would talk.
If she can get someone to decorate it I might be able to at least bake the bear part as I know the pan has been retired, and I could send just that undecorated, that might work, and I would of course send printed directions too. And of course they could always refer to my site for the rest. But I am truly very flattered no matter what!

Thank you for your interest Ms J, I hope all goes well for you and your baby to be! Look forward to hearing from you!

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY???

2010-05-26T23:54:00.002-04:00

OK, I saw my GP today... I went in all smiley and bouncy..after all the pain is at a low.. and I was feeling pretty darn good...was being the operative word! lol

The doc took a look at my back...said we will address it again in a couple weeks if it don't get better, but he thinks just a muscle pull..then he looked at my hip..the one I hurt two months ago falling in the tub..and he hit this one spot..and I YELPED! he said yup think i found it! DUH! lol anyway he decided that a steroid shot might help...and first he was gonna use lidocaine to numb it up good..three needles later and he thought it was a go...big bore needle and steroids, do NOT feel good even after being numbed! no it don't..as a matter of fact it burnt like H#!! and I sorta said OWWWWWWWW that hurts! a little loud, louder then I want to..because it really !!!$%@$!! hurt..I apparently scared the receptionist who heard me all the way in the front office...she came back to check on me! lol needless to say i went in good and came out hurting! my hip is swelled up and bruised..and this is supposed to help HOW? pmsl

Well he wants me to call tomorrow and let him know how it feels.. and if it didn't take we can do it again..UHHUH sure doc.. lol

I did however get him to laugh today...when he pulled my pants away from my hip I told him be careful he didn't go blind...he said (seriously) Oh believe me I've seen things a lot worse then that, and I had to say um doc I was referring to how white it was and I didn't want you to be blinded cause that thing never sees the sun! I think my humor finally got him cause he burst out laughing! I guess he thought I meant my behind was ugly or something! lol

I finally got him! lo

and then he goes and ruins my high with, IN his best Doctor voice., you know what I mean that serious one that picks you apart at them seams....do you always use humor to cover your hurts?

I think he's finally figuring me out....

and how was your day!

WHY NOW AFTER 3 YEARS???

2010-05-20T01:23:00.002-04:00

My supposed BEST friend in the world, who when I needed her most, wasn't there for me...I lost everything..she never seemed to care..She just contacted me after 3 YEARS..I've known her since 7th grade.(33years!).she was always a part of me...till 3 years ago..we shared everything...It hurt but I told her I just don't need her anymore. I never thought I would do it.. But I finally realized I was the one always there for her.. always the strong one, When I got ill and weak and needed her to be strong for me just once in our entire friendship.. I got nothing........I finally realized I didn't need her I had just always wanted her in my life..because I loved her, unconditionally. I still do..But I am OK ..I don't need her anymore..I don't think I could take that hurt again. Hell it still hurts, must because there are tears running down my cheeks...I still think it was cheesy that she wrote me on facebook instead of calling...my number never changed...

I finally said to myself you know what? You never EVER said a word to her when she hurt you...You were ALWAYS there for HER..maybe it's time for you to let her know how you've really felt about things..And I knew that we may never be able to get back what we lost if I did..but I am just too tired and getting to old for the bullshit..and I let my fingers fly..

This is the message I got...

Sub: Long time no talk!

" Where have you been hiding, I hope your well??"

My Response:
" I never hid, and my phone number never changed...It seemed that once I lost everything you really didn't care to find out how I was..how am I? do you really want to know? you once told me you couldn't handle seeing me ill, has that changed? because NO, I am not OK, I am very ill, I am finally diagnosed, and it took losing everything I ever had to go on state to get help. Yep on state, embarrassing but no choice.

I am in pain everyday of my life now, and it's not going to get better, just awaiting the rest of the tests before applying for disability. Is that what you want to hear?

I have had multiply surgeries and been in and out of the hospital, that is how my life has been..I have lost a lot of family members over the last three years too..and wondering how long it will be before they bury me. Oh yeah and I got my divorce, the state paid for it..BTW where were you while I went through that? Remember who was with you after yours....ME.TWICE!

Last I heard from you,you had a whole new life with someone off of some dating site..shopped around and got what you wanted, and you were happy..that's nice, I always wanted you to be happy..just always figured we'd share all that...guess I wasn't good enough to make the grade.. I always loved YOU no matter what you did, no matter IF I didn't agree with you, I covered for you, I laughed with you, even went into the birthing room with you, watched your child born, let you stick your dam long ass finger nails into my hand where I still carry a scar during your contractions! But hey I wasnt' good enough to be a godmother. I held you, cried with you, cried for you, rebelled against your mother for you. and I lied for you too, yup you lied for me some times too..I even helped you with your second wedding, even though I didn't love Jim, he made YOU happy..and as your friend that is what I wanted for you..I even went so far as to try to talk you out of your first one, because I KNEW he was wrong for you..and it turned out I was right...and when he hit you..who did you come to? me...Where were YOU when I needed you!!!! even now I make excuses for you, I say that you were always self involved and that it don't hurt me..WELL I LIED TO EVERYONE...because you hurt me more then anyone else has ever hurt me.

I tried calling you once...a weak moment. thought I needed you..it took you what two weeks to call back? I picked up but blew you off because I was surrounded by others..I never called back because I found I didn't need you anymore..it was just a want, not a need.

I always wanted you in my life..just realized you didn't always want me...realized you probably don't want your new guy getting ANY hints about your past. And we both KNOW what I am talking about...and you know what? that's OK..have it your own way kit kat you always have.

You look healthy and happy..I hope you are..and I wish you well. I hope the kids are doing well also. "

Probably NO going back after this one gets read..I just hope her new guy doesn't read it and cause her problems...I really hadn't thought of that till after I sent it.. I know it sounds harsh..and I could have said A LOT more, chose not to..after all we practically lived in each others pockets since we were kids..we KNEW everything about each other good and bad,,and then some..and I loved her in spite of some things..I'm not saying I was perfect, far from it, but she was definately a devil of a teenager...I was just there to keep her on track best I could...I even went nose to nose with her mother over something, which let me tell you me at 5'2" and all of 97 lbs and her mom at 5'9" and 150lbs was NOT an easy thing to do...But it was an important issue..and I was trying to save my friend from herself....I even went to my father about it..he backed me..I lost..and it ended up bad..I never forgave her mom for that. I tried...and I lost. Not many teenagers would go that far for a friend. I often felt more like a mother instead of a friend at times. You can only imagine the issue,,it's not fair of me to say what it was, so I wont. I did as much as I could..and I was only a kid myself!

I sat here crying my eyeballs out..and realized I was crying for something that might have been a case of me loving someone more then they really loved me all these years...I knew she was self centered and materalistic, I just thought she was different with me..and now my eyes are wide open...and filled with sad bitter tears..........

UPDATED: 5/20/10

This is the response I got..the one I already expected...As usual, she doesn't really own up to how she treated me..She never did like to take responsibility for her actions and always took the easy way out, even if it was me taking the blame becasue I was a whole year older and knew better..yeah, her mom pulled that on me..and I took it..because I WAS older, and I did know bettter, the thing was, I didnt do it, HER kid did...I just took the blame, because Hey that's what friends do. NOT one mention of I'm sorry your ill..nothing, she never could deal with me being ill..not sure why. She's just pissed cause I called her out on it. Kitty gets to hide her head in the sand once again...And even though this page is over in my life, Her secrets will stay hers.

Re: Long time no talk!!

Wow! Sorry I asked and sorry I hurt you! I won't bother or hurt you anymore. Have a good one.

My Resopnse:

May 20 at 12:56pm

Just when I thought you couldn't hurt me anymore, you proved me wrong with your goodbye statement...Touché

Dear California Reader....

2010-05-11T14:04:00.000-04:00

I have been noticing that there is someone from the Sunnyvale California area using an apple computer, and surfing with safari browser, who comes directly to this site. I am hoping this may be a cousin of mine, who I haven't seen since I was a little girl. I did notice whoever it is only comes here to read, never leaves a comment. If it's you Art..or one of your family, please leave me a message and say hello..I don't bite! lol

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MY MOM, MY EVERYTHING!

2010-05-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

I wrote in a previous blog about my Webkinz addiction, in webkinz world they were having a contest for mothers day..I mad up this quick little ditty about my mommy...lol I got the intended response from her..a good laugh! As always, I try to make my mother smile..

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY MOM!

My Mother...

My Mother is

Beautiful thoughtful and kind.

She keeps the dark at bay,

Her smile is bright as the sun.

A Gem,of the rare type to find.

Her hair is the color of hay,

and she is so much fun!

Not one to let me fall behind.

Having her for my mom really does pay,

for without her my WEBKINZ WORLD stuff would never get done!

I LOVE my Mommy, without her I wouldn't be here.

She is my EVERYTHING!

Ok, not my best..but it gets across my meaning! LOVE YOU MOM!

AM I WRONG TO FEEL THIS WAY?

2010-05-08T16:07:00.000-04:00

Well here I am again! A lot has been going on in my life and unfortunately my blog has had to take a back seat. I have probably lost all my regular readers and that makes me sad, as I always enjoy the feedback from here.
But as they say out of sight, out of mind!

This weekend is Mother's Day weekend, and last year I had gotten an unexpected surprise..a card from my boyfriends youngest, wishing me a Happy Mother's Day...the two of us have been getting along really well, and I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow with another card in hand...I was wondering if last year was just a dream. I never expected it, so it meant even more to me then I can explain.

This year my hope has been dashed to the ground. The kids mother has decided to take a slight detour on her wayward trucking route (lives in a truck with new husband driving tractor trailer cross country..long story) and has decided to land on my boyfriend's sister's doorstep begging a room to stay in so that she can be here to see her children...SAY WHAT?!??!?!?!?!? This woman who broke her husband's heart by cheating on him (oh yes I went there) with his COUSIN on top of it, dares to ask to stay at one of his family members houses! and to make it worse she is letting her stay there instead of telling her to get a room at a motel! Not only that, to add insult to injury, had the audacity to have her kid ask my boyfriend, her EX HUSBAND, if she could borrow one of his cars for the weekend! (oh yes she did!)

Now as my BF would say, "When I took the kids to finish raising them I was finished with DOING anything for their mother, my commitment to her ended the day she slept with someone else" Granted he deals well with her on things to DO WITH the children, BUT they are 21 and 23 years old now, and no longer live at home. I am totally outraged at this newest intrusion into our lives..Don't get me wrong, she IS there Mother..I don't begrudge them being with her, not at all. It just seems like she only comes for certain things and it is usually to BENEFIT her in some way, and it's usually to take advantage of the younger kid because he makes good money (oh yes I did I went there) or so it seems from what the youngest tells his dad.

But she IS their mother, and so I get to take a backseat yet again. And the BF wonders WHY I have issues with his children. I am tired of being the one to pick up the pieces after they have been hurt. SO now I know I wont be getting that surprise visit tomorrow, a card, or just a plain phone call...

Their real mommy is here, they wont even think about me, the one who still patches up the cuts when they get hurt (they often get hurt working on cars) the one they tell the good news to when they are bursting with happiness about something they did, or something they just got,( the youngest just bought his first truck...I was the first he showed it to that very night!) the one who makes them cakes on their birthdays from scratch, and cooks them a dinner of their choice that day...the one who still mends those ripped jeans, and keeps their dad happy...the one who watched them go on their first dates, got them ready for their proms, took pictures of all the special moments in their lives and scrap booked them,watched them receive awards and graduate..when their REAL mommy couldn't be bothered to be here, except graduation days (for which I got excluded from a lot of because SHE was here) I get to be the glorified girlfriend yet again.

And for that I am sad..again.

As much as I didn't like my stepmother, out of respect for my father I always treated her well, and acknowledged her on mother's day( she deserved it for just putting up with my father all those years), and told my real mother I did so. I never hid that, and never felt I had to.
I love my mother dearly (as you know mommy you are my everything!) But I always do the same for her husband on father's day, even though my real father is still alive.

I wonder if there will ever come a day that this stuff just rolls off my back and doesn't hurt? AM I wrong to feel this way?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

2010-02-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

This weekend started out really nice..........no kid around to ruin it.............till this morning....

This morning while I was feeling pampered, wined and dined and definately spoiled... The kid showed up because he wanted his father to listen to some noise his car was making...his dad had gotten up to go get a coffee and hadn't returned yet...the kid gets here, parks right under the bedroom windows and proceeds to turn his music so loud it practically shook the house! that screaming hate rap crap stuff that I really really hate...yes I do think he did it on purpose! Anyway my sister and brother in law happened to pulled in right about that time and he shut it off when he saw them..(they came to pick something up), when his father got here I asked him to speak to him about the music..after all we do have elderly neighbors, and I'm sure that 8:30 on a Sunday morning, not to mention Valentine's Day, they really loved the music...NOT.
Well anyway, when he asked him he bold faced lied to him said he didn't even have the radio on! Did his father believe him? no of course not..know why? because my sister had already told him that she heard the music pulling in! not to mention..get this...we live in an area that has a lot of spanish teenagers..he said it must have been them doing it. but the music we heard was in english...the music the teenagers play is ALWAYS in spanish..Sounds like he did it just to annoy me...what do you think?

Happy Valentine's Day to me!

Adult Child Problems..........HELP!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

Ever been in the roll of "stepmother"? I have it sucks... You would think that after they grow up and move out, that you had paid your dues, and they were pretty much on their own...that you would finally just get to enjoy their visits..play with the grandchildren, spoil them and send them home. Ahhh the life of parents..Or so I thought.
Nope not for us...
The BF has two boys, both adults now, both living on their own..one with a child. The youngest..we hardly see him, he has lots of friends, a nice girlfriend, a great job..a SOCIAL LIFE. we get calls and visits and get to just enjoy listening to him tell us the stuff he is doing with his life..it's kinda nice. And he never stays so long that you have to ask him to leave so you can go to sleep, or whatever.
NOW to get to my problem.....the oldest...with child... there isn't a day goes by he doesn't call with some "problem", he asks for advice...only to argue wtih his father if he doesn't like what he hears! Everytime we paln something...he finds a way to ruin it...it's gotten so that I wonder if he does this stuff on purpose. I finally started to keep track of how everytime we do something, he calls and interupts, with some NEW personal tradgedy that of course was something that just couldn't wait till the next day (snicker) heaven forbid!
The BF is starting to get pissed becasue now that I have started pointing it out...he's realizing I am right! I know I sound like the "wicked stepmom" but I have done so much for this child only to have "YOUR NOT MY MOTHER" thrown in my face when I don't do what he wants that it's frustrating! He expects everyone to cater to him, wont get a job, and lives off his girlfriend. Always asking for help from his father, when his father can barely keep a roof over his own head theses days! I mean let's face it the economy sucks right now...everyone is getting hit hard. Life in general is tough...this kid makes it tougher.
Yup , there I go sounded "bad" again...If I could tell you everything I did for this kid...only to have him cal DCF on us when he was still in school..told people we didn't spend time with him, that we drank...now that's really funny.. neither of us drink alcohol because of health issues! and stuff like that..we get past that, and "forgive" him that cause well he was a teenager... And then he starts shit all over wtih different stuff..it just never seems to stop. He recently told me to fuck off and get the fuck out of his apartment,we were there at his request to put plastic, which WE bought, over his windows, because he said they were getting a draft! He got in my face, and was really nasty...WHY you ask? all because I mentioned that his kid sounded like he had allergies and or asthma becasue he was constantly ill and was having trouble breathing! YUP over concern for the granchild..He told me I wasn't a fucking Dr., and that I didn't know shit ( I have severe asthma and allergies...I think I might have a clue..don't you?) and told me I wasn't his mother, he didn't have to listen to me and get the fuck out...yeah all right in front of his father..So I lost it...I told him they deserved to lose that child...the place was so dirty you could barely walk into it..trash on the floor, food on the floor..clothes dirty and clean everywhere! I was having trouble breathing in there myself! The grandson was in his crib on a filthy sheet..and he was miserable...They did have a vaporizer on for him, but under those conditions...probably not much help...I left, with tears in my eyes, becasue there is nothing I can do to make the grandson's life any better...I can no longer deal wtih how they live...I will not go back to that apartment...I have to rush home to a shower after having been there.
Yes I could call DCF...but that would make me no better then him.. and you know it's not really my call. they do feed him, wash him, and basic needs, he isn't being hit. I know his mother tries hard to take care of the baby and she works..the lazy slob just sits at home and does nothing. I feel so sorry for her...you can see her depression. neither kid was raised to be like that..it just boggles my mind...
You want to know the outcome of how he spoke to me? wonder if his father said anything to him? He did..he told him that he would see him..but until things were resolved..he would not be welcomed into our home, that I didn't deserve what he did to me, and that was that, he can not come into the house. I don't have to deal with him.
Or so I thought.....
Our youngest turned 21 in Dec. his girlfriend wanted to throw him a surprise bday party at her parents house and of course invited his family...Well knowing this was really the first time we would be socializing with the youngest's girlfriends parents, who look like they will be his in-laws in a year or so, I was on needles and pins knowing the oldest would be there... He not only made us LATE, because his car broke down (his father gave him AAA card think he would use it?) Had to deal with that, call his GF to get her to keep him awasy longer so we could get there for the surprise...BUT he didn't watch his kid, we had to...he doens't know NO yet and was touching all kinds of stuff! and there was a lot of breakalbe stuff around..not only that but he ate first, had to be told to feed the kid, and his piggy mouth was so embarrassing..every other word is a swear! I couldn't wait to get out of there! I was totaly mortified because he also got this huge attitude with his father and was nasty right in front of these people! and get this, he wonders why I don't like him!!!!!!
I am so embarrassed by this kid that I univited him to christmas with MY family..but took his girlfriend and child..they had a blast with us and everyone was so relaxed...not like it would be if the oldest was there.
I have to take Xanax just to deal with him, and I actually started getting chest pains everytime the kid calls!
So not the life I want to live....I am getting tired of it.
We recently went to Maine for a few days to visit with the BFs grandmother and my mother..the BFs cell phone died, and his charger stopped working..the silence was BLISS! the kid couldn't call...is was wonderful! and we actually got to have a mini vacation and enjoy ourselves without interruption..as soon as we got back, and it was charged...the phone started ringing...guess who!
I am at a loss as to how to deal with this...I get so tense when that phone rings..it wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't that everytime this kid calls it always ends ups with him getting his father upset, which in turn gets taken out on me if I say one word before he calms down! I don't know what happened to the sweet lovable child I met years ago, why he is such a lazy loser, and trouble maker...Why he can't seem to just deal with stuff on his own. He acts like he is 15 years old instead of in his twenties. And I am starting to hate him.
He once told me he got rid of his last stepmother..he would get rid of me too! lol Sorry kiddo, I'm still here! and as your father said, he has a right to his life, he raised you now it's time for you to be a man and raise YOUR kid right! I have been with him longer then anyone...I actually feel sorry for his EX...this child ruined thier marriage....literally. But only because his father wasn't really aware of what his kid was doing...BUT NOW HE KNOWS EVERYTHING...and he is not going to let this kid ruin what we have...or so he says to me...but you never really know in life how things will turn out.
I am at a loss as to how to fix this problem...I think his father should just cut him off, do the tough love thing, till he grows up some...Am I being too harsh? maybe...BUT I just can't take much more...

My Stalker is at it again...

2010-02-09T11:24:00.000-05:00

Dear Stalker,
Yes, you know who you are! I know you have been on here again...I don't like you, as a matter of fact, hate you. get lost. Don't you know your just not wanted here? What is your fascination with my blog? go bother someone else. You are a pain in the ass, you have no sense of right or wrong, I have asked you repeatedly to stop...an intelligent person would of course, get the hint...you obviously are NOT intelligent.
You bother people and expect them to just forget all the shit you did to them...believe me no one is forgetting, or forgiving. Others may have to put up with you but I don't have to. My life isn't your concern. Why don't you get a job and a life maybe then you will be too busy to bother anyone. If you force me to go private again, I will find a way to make you very unhappy...

Comment Posting Problem...

2010-01-13T16:02:00.003-05:00

I have been told from a few people that there is no way to post new comments on my new post! I came to look..found no one could post a comment! not sure why..still looking into it! so if you have a comment, you can leave one on an older post and I will get it...hopefully this issue will be resolved shortly.

You can comment here for the webkinz post...I have not been able to figure out why there isn't a way to comment on the last post. It seems to be the only post affected.

My Secret Addiction........Webkinz!

2010-01-06T19:38:00.001-05:00

OK, there will be some of you who will know what I am talking about, and some who don't. But I have recently addmitted to an addiction...my addiction is...WEBKINZ.. http://www.webkinz.com/us_en/Yup, I said it,finally got it out! PMSL
Webkinz are these stuffed animals that you buy (hunt for) and you get a code with them that you log onto a webkinz account and give them a name. You can dress them, feed them, and play with them in a virtual world..the best part is the rooms you get to decorate with all kinds of neat furniture and objects that you can collect and trade with others! They even have a post office! OK, you say why? ..hmmmmm not sure why, but I love it..the thing is I finally found out that there are a LOT of other adults that love this place too! and I met a bunch of them at this place webkinz post ! In this forum I have found the most wonderful caring women and YES some men and children too, in the world! They are a group of special people that are so warm you feel like you are embraced by old friends..kinda like that comfortable old flannel you put on when ever you need something comfortable to wear. During a lot of my illnesses this year they have been a wonderful support group, wishing me well, calling me to just say HI! and worrying about me even though they have never personally met me. I love blogger, and have made some wonderful contacts here, don't get me wrong, but WP is like one big happy family, and we are all addicts addicted to the same thing.
You could always check out the sites if you feel like it using the links provided here..who knows, maybe some of you will join us there! If you are already a WW addict...come join us, promise you'll love it! and look me up when you get there, I go by ENCHANTEDISLE. come say hello..

I know most older people would say what would you want with all those stuffed animals...well I only buy them for the codes...I actually donate all the plushes to Connecticut Valley Hospital. This is a tradition I am carrying on in the names of my BFs parents who had done this for years,collecting stuffed animals and donating them to CVH for the patients..they play bingo on wed. nights and the animals are the prizes, the BFs father once told me that it was a wonderful feeling to see the patients hugging those toys! So even though I admit I have an addiction, lol I also feel like I do something meaningful too!

Anywho, I put some pictures in to give you an idea of waht the heck I am talking about, and I will also tell you that my 74 Year old Mother is addicted too!, and my two sisters and my nieces! and the neat thing is we can all go to each others "virtual" houses too "play" and visit to see how we have decorated our rooms! and yes we can also chat via the internet too..and since my mother lives seven hours away it's a nice way to spend quality time with her!

this is my Christmas room!

this is my country store

and this is Merlin, my favorite webkinz and my main character on webkinz world

virtual pictures of merlin.....

plush

and here is how he dressed for New Years Eve!

Hope you all enjoyed a sneak peek into my secret life!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!..I'm still here! just very busy!

2010-01-04T02:28:00.007-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

I know I should post more, but between Dr. apts., surgeries, bad health in general, and just everyday life...well...just isn't possible right now. I am going to show you some of the stuff I did for Christmas...sorry it's so late!

OK, First off right AFTER Thanksgiving, I rushed to finish the cards I hand made...YES, I made them, by hand, cut out every little piece and glued them all together...at the BFs request I might add...who of course was NO WHERE to be seen during the long hours of cutting and pasting! Here is just a sample.

Then it was tree trimming time! I still don't have the room for my eight footer, and all my really nice ornaments are still in storage, but over the last two years I have collected enough Bumbles to design this tree...I love bumbles! The really neat thing I did was to take an animated bumble and wire him to the tree top to make a topper!~ the funniest part was that when you touched his foot to start him singing the whole tree shimmied ever so lightly, and danced with the music! We laughed pretty hard at this, and our grandson was so enthralled with it! He pointed and said UHH! to get us to keep hitting the bumbles on button! he just stood there watching for long periods of time...and I am proud to say he didn't try to touch the tree at all...now that WAS a BIG SURPRISE!
Up next was making something to take to my sister's house for Christmas eve, I settled on making one of my cake creations and sat down to draw! This is what I came up with...

Then I hand moulded a bunch of sugar pieces too...not hard just time consuming! had to hand tint all that sugar too.

Then I made something special for all my great nieces and nephews...candy snowflake necklaces, which to my sisters amazement even the teenagers liked! I told her they would...somehow I think she thought I was nutty...but they were a big hit!

Then it was time to bake the cake and decorate it...4 days in the making...all this right BEFORE Christmas! the pictures aren't as good as I would like...the topper was wire and glass beads, and the whole thing was glittered with edible glitter...I was asked where I got it (LOL) I just said I ordered it for the WHoville Bakery! Of course my sister set everyone straight later.. yes it was made crooked on purpose! I kind of like the Grinch story..was my inspiration.
Now mind you this wasn't all I said I would bring...I also made my famous banana bread and some sugar cookies!

But, guess who did ALL the decorating!!??!!! The Grinch himself! the BF! oh yes he did, and I so had to get a picture of it as he rarely enters my kitchen. I have a funny feeling he really enjoyed himself....wonder if next year I can get him in there again?! I made egg yolk paint and hand tinted sugar..and made some decorators icing...cut them out, he painted, I baked. He got very creative...he made Mr. Bills out of the gingerbread shaped ones!

The artist hard at work... I watched the ice around his heart melt..as it grew three sizes bigger....

And all the while it snowed......................

While I also made rum balls at the BFs request.....not too bad for my first try! I found 3 recipes on Cooks.com... altered them to what I thought sounded good and went to work...the BF said they were the best ever.

Not sure if you can click on this picture to enlarge...but if not, and your interested in how I made them, leave a message and I will write it out on here.

ANYWHO,.........Now you can see what I have been up to pretty much right after Thanksgiving, not to mention I made that meal too, and had guests. It has been a busy year for us, and a sad one too..I am glad to see the New Year, and hoping it will be better then the last.

Cheers Everyone!

Surgery......What a Nightmare!

2009-11-21T04:57:00.007-05:00

Well, if you used to read me, you probably know I had some trouble with a few people that I didn't want to read my blog, so I passed the word around through the grapevine that I deleted the blog, blocked most people, and sat here twiddling my thumbs, waiting for my chance to blog again. So here I am, I'll see how it goes.

Now I will tell you that there has been something else keeping me from here too. I had two foot surgeries!(on same foot) So not fun. I decided that I would take some pictures to share here,because, I thought some might be interested,and well frankly because I could,and I blog! perfect excuse.

It took me 6 months to even get the referral for it, then another 2 months before I got the surgery! The Dr. that did it, believe it or not took ill within a few days of doing the surgery! So you can imagine the nightmare I have had with post operative care! not to mention that the new Dr. messed up royally and stamped my pain med refill instead of signing it,and I couldn't get a hold of her all week! the pharmacy did and they were supposed to fax and then mail a NEW one..never did, and when I FINALLY got a hold of the Dr. who was covering, he asked me what I thought he could do for me! that it was after hours, and he wasn't in the office, so basically I'm shit out a luck! wonderful 5 days of suffering and hardly any sleep because they can't do their dam job right! He had the audacity to tell me to go the the ER for the pain meds! And said I shouldn't need them any more any way!(and I suppose he has been in my body and knows what I'm feeling!)OMG like I want to sit there for 5-6 hours for that, I'm in pain enough! some days I just can't win! anyway that is what has been going on I am three weeks post op, and healing fairly well,though to be honest I still have the pain I had the surgery for! The Dr. claims it will take possibly a few months for it to feel better..great, just frigging great. not to mention I have to do this all over again with the other side! I could go on and on about this nightmare, but it would probably bore you, and besides I don't want to whine TOO much! So I guess I'll get on with it and post those pictures!

This is a cryo cuff.. my best friend for the first two weeks! lol this cuff held ice water in it that came from a special insulated bucket,and when it needed to get cold again I just hooked it up to it's bucket, drained the water back in, put it back on and let the water flow right back in all nice and cold! so much nicer then an ice bag, more comfortable,no wetness, and I could sleep with it! not to mention it cushioned my foot really well too.

my first post op was cancelled, and I had to change my own dressings, imagine that?, so the BF bought me all new sterile stuff and I went to town, camera in hand! first I unwrapped the sticky ace bandage..I found this.

so I slowly peeked under the bandage, rolling it down slowly, because, well it hurt like hell! OMG I got a glimpse of the bruising! DAM!

Next I peeked lower, and I about freaked! I had a shit load of staples! and it was a huge incision! The Dr. told me both of the incisions would only be about 1/2 inch each..I almost cried.

it was "FRANKENFOOT"! dam it looked like Victor Frankenstein had got to my foot! now mind you this is TWO weeks post op! I can only guess what it looked like the first week!

Anyway I dealt with it, had no choice,they delayed taking out the staples, made a new appointment, and then when I got to the first one they only took out half! but they did take out the stitches on the bottom..I felt like they were ripping out the staples when they took them out the first time. I dam near fainted from the pain, and I have a high tolerance..so you can imagine.

they bandaged me up and sent me home for another week...

I went this past Monday to get the rest out, stupid Dr. didn't even realize the wound was still gaping in places, OK maybe because I was careful to not let her know heheh I wanted them dam staples out! I went home and applied the butterfly tapes immediately..If you look at second pic you can see some of the split.

as of today, I have no more tapes on! it has sealed shut,so far so good, and the foot looks WAY better too, I just didn't take a picture yet! I can't believe I have to go through this all over again...I must be a glutton for punishment!

INTERNET STALKERS

2009-09-16T13:35:00.004-04:00

OK, I'm gonna put myself out here and bitch a little. I have a stalker on here, apparently, blocking this person from following me hasn't gotten through this person's thick skull, that I don't want them on here..and YES I KNOW who you are, I have your IP, and I'm gonna ask you to stop. If you don't......beware.

Now to the OTHERS who have recently found this site...
I know when your on here,I know who told you they found this, and now I'm asking you to stay off here!
I will tell your bother you are invading my space if you don't. I do have a right to some privacy from you, and this is primarily a place for me to vent, and to keep my mother up to date on my life. If you force me to close this blog, you will be dealing with a very pissed off person, I keep my mouth shut about a lot of things, you really don't want to find out how I really feel, here in a public forum, DO YOU? YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE............and B...not very nice of you!

Sorry to all the ones who do come here, the ones who leave comments, instead of thinking they are getting away with something, I'm just so tired of so called "family" that has no balls to leave their comments and just come on here to see if they can find dirt on me! really tired AND pissed off! Yeah I know this is public, but lets be real blogger peeps, who really wants their in-laws, etc. to read their thoughts? Of course I guess I could just piss them all off, and say what I really want to sometimes...Hmmmmmm there is a thought! LOL...and if they say a dam thing to me guess then they can't stalk here anonymously,(or so they thought) anymore! Oh World War three might be only a few days away! hehehehehe.............

FIVE HUNDRED WORDS OR LESS.......

2009-09-15T13:27:00.004-04:00

I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but well, frankly, I've just been really busy just trying to live life! Since I last wrote, I underwent surgery that was supposed to be two procedures, it turned into three. Recovery was supposed to be three weeks, but as usual, nothing goes as planned for me and it turned into six weeks, sometimes being a diabetic can be hell, I just don't heal well. ANY WHO, that is finally behind me,I also had to get new glasses, as my eyesight has worsened a little, the Dr. says they are stabilized right now, and does not want to do the surgery on my right eye unless I lose more of my vision. So for now, my eyeballs seemed to be in a holding pattern..
I have been trying to get on my feet again, and get some stuff done around this house!, BUT again as usual, this is not to be. Yesterday I finally got back in to see my foot Dr.. I received a cortisone shot in my foot a few months ago, that was, and I repeat WAS, supposed to make my foot pain all better! Now, I tried to call several times to get a hold of this Dr., as two days after the shot I felt even worse. For what ever reason, he was unreachable. I did question him about this, and he seemed very upset that he was not given my message, was he really? who knows... anyway, I am in so much pain that just standing to do the dishes is pure agony,so I'm off to surgery yet again! not just one foot, oh no, BOTH! I will be laid up yet again. and not all at once, seems I have to wait two to three months in between the surgeries. lovely! I, for one, just want to get it done and over with. No such luck. that's my life for you. OK, enough of that! now you know why I haven't been on here!
On to other stuff in my lovely life...
The kids...I am proud and happy to say the youngest is doing VERY well, he now owns two Harleys, and a car, doesn't live at home, and he's not even twenty one yet, I'm am curious to see where he will be at thirty!
Now as to the oldest, his girlfriend, and the grandchild. The grandchild is growing fast, and his first birthday approaches fast!, he is 23 lbs, and taking his first steps. He is a bundle of energy, and after five hours of babysitting, I find I am exhausted! But he smiles constantly, and is so dam cute you can't stay mad for two seconds when he keeps getting into stuff. He is stubbornly persistent in going after stuff he is told not to!
Now as to his mother, I am really proud of her! with our support and help, she has gotten her own apartment, a job, and is doing very well! What a surprise! I kinda took her under my wing and patiently told her how to dress, and what to say, to people while applying for jobs, took her shopping with Eric, who spent $300.00 on her for work clothes, got her to take out the ridiculous tongue ring, and just basically encouraged her in any way I could and praised her when she did good. It worked! she put so many applications in I was shocked, I watched her as she spent hours on the Internet right here with me doing so. She also went out in the mornings in person, two weeks later, she was employed! YEAHHH!!! And would you believe it was the VERY day we went clothes shopping? I'm serious, we pulled in to the drive way, and her phone rang! they told her to come right in, so she left right away and filled out all the paperwork, and two days later started! I'm so proud of her.
As to the oldest...I GIVE UP! I'm all done, no amount of talking,help,encouragement, nothing works with this child! his girlfriend has since told me that she is getting tired of him living off her, and not doing anything to help, she is close to throwing him out, the only thing that stops her is that she needs him to take care of their son. Unfortunately, right now I am not in good enough shape to watch a small child everyday right now, but I am hoping that will change so that she can be free of him. Is that horrible of me to say? probably, but if you knew everything he has put us through...
So now that I have told you all the good and the bad stuff..
I will tell you that I am going to make my own Christmas cards this year. I have already designed them, printed the insides, and each day I will assemble at least one, so that by Dec. first they will be done and ready to mail. Eric asked me if I would make them this year, I guess he likes the old fashioned things I do! I will probably do a blog about them, but I wont post it till December, because it will ruin it for those who will be getting them, but I will say that I am having a lot of fun doing it. And each one will be unique. No two exactly alike. fun, fun, fun!
So there you have it..my life in lately in five hundred words or less...bored yet?

Goodbye Father of my Heart.....

2009-07-06T20:24:00.005-04:00

Fernand E. B(edited)

Fernand “Fern” E.(edited) , 72, of Shore Dr., Higganum, formerly of Lewiston, ME, husband of the late Irene T. (Fraser) (edited), died Saturday June 20, 2009 at his home.
He was born in Lewiston, ME, the son of Blanche (Langlais) (edited) of Lewiston, ME and the late Ernest J. (edited) Jr. and his stepfather, the late Morris A. L(edited). Fern, a veteran of the Vietnam War, served and retired with the U.S. Air Force and the State of CT Dept. of Corrections. Fern was a lifetime member of the Haddam V.F.W. and a Freemason with the Granite Lodge #119, Haddam.
He is survived by, his mother Blanche (Langlais) (edited) and his brother, James R. B(edited) and his wife Ivy of Lewiston, ME; His stepbrother, Alfred L(edited) and his wife Carol of Knoxville, TN; a stepsister, Diane Joy-Smith and her husband Raymond of VA.
A daughter, Joni A. M(edited) and her husband Michael of Middletown; three sons, Dana (edited) of Higganum, Eric A. (edited) Sr. of Meriden, and Tony A. (edited) Sr. of Lithia, Fl. Seven grandchildren; Vanessa (edited) and Michelle (edited) of Middletown, Eric A. (edited) Jr. of Higganum, James R. (edited) of Meriden, Courtney (edited) of Burnham, ME; Tony (edited) Jr., and Mikiala (edited) of Lithia Fl.; And a great grandchild, Daniel (edited) of Higganum. His sister, Marlene Lauze, predeceased him.
Funeral services will be held Monday at 10:15 a.m. from Biega Funeral Home, 3 Silver St., Middletown followed by an 11 a.m. Funeral Liturgy at St. Peter’s Church, Higganum. Burial, with Military Honors, will be in the State Veterans Cemetery. Friends may call at Biega Funeral Home, Sunday from 2 to 6 p.m. Memorial contributions may be made to the American Diabetes Association, PO Box 11454, Alexandria, VA 22312.

It took me some time to be able to write this, I am in deep mourning for the father of my heart, my boyfriend Eric's father. He was my huggy bear,the one I could talk to about problems,cook with, share recipes with. He accepted me for who I was,loved me in spite of myself,and never judged me...unconditional love and more of a father to me then my own. I wonder if my tears will ever end, if I will ever stop reaching for the phone to tell him about a new recipe....

I do have one thing to be grateful for,that he passed quietly in his sleep,no suffering and no pain.

I can only hope that I too will pass this way when it is my time.

He missed his wife Irene terribly and told me that he had been seeing her in his dreams, he told his mother that she was calling him. I wish I had known that.

I had seen him just the night before and he seemed fine,he called his mother to talk to her about eight pm, talked to his grandson somewhere around nine thirty pm,and went off to bed. They said he passed somewhere around five am, the day before Father's day,and he was going to finally meet my father on Father's day at my home, as I was planning a Father's Day dinner for the two of them. Now he'll never know that I finally perfected an escargot recipe specially for him. He never knew I learned how to cook them,I was saving it as a surprise. I guess I'm the one that got a surprise. Eric, Adam and I were in shock that morning as we drove to his father's house, I knew that if Eric didn't say his goodbyes before the ME okay ed the funeral home to remove him. We found him in his usual sleeping position, and looking very peaceful. After a few nights of nightmares for both of us, I began to wonder if I had been right to push Eric into doing that, but after seeing him in the casket, and what a horrible job the morticians did, I knew I had been right in doing so! Eric was mortified at how he looked. I felt bad for everyone and cried my eyeballs out over it. But what was done was done, and there wasn't anyway to change it. The whole family is having a hard time with his passing. Me I just keep crying like I am right now,because it hurts so dam much. I thought this story might help....but it makes it hurt more.

We as a family have a lot to do. The house needs to be cleaned out and our oldest and his girlfriend and baby need to be found a home to live in as ours is way to small to take them in,we are all under a lot of stress. I did do one thing so far, I personally cleaned his room so that his daughter or sons did not have to do that. I have never done anything so painful in my entire life.

But I new he would want me to do that,so I canceled the surgery I was supposed to have and did what I needed to do. Yup messed me up physically,but I got through it,and a new surgery date has been given. I did the hardest part, the rest is up to his children.

Your together again...the way you wanted it.

Se reposer dans om de paix et le papa. ...I espère votre danse !

(rest in peace mom and dad.....I hope your dancing!)

IMPROPER PARKING...$75.00? YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING!

2009-06-11T01:36:00.003-04:00

OH boy, do I have a story for you! last night I was dropping my boyfriend off in front of a liquor store to get our roommate a six pack of beer, (being a diabetic I don't drink, and the BF doesn't drink either. )Anyway I proceed around the corner to see if I can find a parking spot on the side of the store, there was a car in front of me pulling up over the curb with his ass end still hanging out as I turned the corner, I put my blinker on and was waiting for this person to pull further forward so that I could also park, well the police officer behind me though I was doing something wrong I guess and proceed to honk his horn at me either indicating pull over or get the hell out of my way, so I slowly edged back into the road to go forward and pulled over in the first spot I could find as this officer was now going around me and indicating with his hand that i was to stay there. I did, now by this time my BF had heard the horn, knew it was police and came right back out of the store without purchasing anything because he was worried about me knowing I had just turned that corner. Turns out that he was right to worry. the officer had parked across the street from where I was having doubled back to me and was crossing the street at the same time the BF was at the side of my car asking me why I was being pulled over, I replied that I had no idea! the Officer as he approached me car said out loud that he didn't appreciate those kind of comments...HUH???? what comments? so I asked him..." I"m sorry, what comments?" ( in a very bewildered voice) to which he replied, " forget it it doesn't matter" HUH???? now I am really confused, then I asked him what the problem was, and he wouldn't answer me! he asks me for license, reg. and insurance which of course I had , just couldn't find the reg!!!! so he went back to his car while I started to look for the reg between my seats....and a light catches my eye and I look up and to my left and there is a second officer trying to sneak up on the car like you see in the movies, and it looks like he has his gun drawn..I immediately put my hand on the steering wheel and ask why he is approaching me like that, is there something wrong? he says no but I have dealt with others pulling guns or bombs..yeah he said bombs! lol don't ask I didn't anyway he then decides to hit me right in the eyes with his flashlight beam! OMG! the pain.. If you read this or know me, you know that I have detaching retinas in both eyes and have recently undergone some surgery, and let me tell you I am now extremely light sensitive, needless to say I moved very fast to cover my face to try to ease my agony,I'm lucky I didn't get shot! I started crying because it hurt so dam bad and I asked him to please get it out of my face and told him what was going on with my eyes...that guy felt so bad, he was very apologetic and at my request shut off his car spotlight too...and of course I respectfully thanked him. I then asked him what the other guy was after me for, and he said quietly that the other guy assumed I had been drinking (because of BF getting out to go into liquor store) and that was why he pulled me over,that and come to find out he was pissed because apparently as he was passing me someone yelled out something nasty at him and he had thought it was me! it wasn't I assure you, and even if I had said something there is no way he could have heard me with my window all the way up! lol anyway guess he was pissed that I questioned him as to what I was being pulled over for...and get this he he told me that if I kept asking questions he would give me more tickets, and that he was giving me a verbal warning and a parking ticket...Um he never did tell me what the verbal warning was, and the ticket for, get this, improper parking, where HE told me to park, was $75.00 fucking dollars!!!!!! Oh yeah, you bet I'm going to enter a not guilty plea! See I have a witness that I was never really parked, I had my blinker on, and my car in gear, foot on brake, seat belt on, TILL the officer told me to put it in PARK! How can he give me a ticket for doing what HE told me to do? even the other officer didn't agree, but like he said on the side, he is a supervisor there is nothing I can do..I could tell he thought the guy was wrong.
You know if I had done something, I wouldn't be pissed, but I didn't do anything, and he obviously couldn't find anything wrong, so he just made something up...just my luck. Too bad they don't come up my road more often and catch the drug dealing,car revving, music thumping, peeling out, driving down the one way street the wrong way,blocking the street with their cars, or bodies, parking in front of the hydrant, yelling, screaming, foul mouthed, nasty, good for nothing,non working,20 something year olds who collect like cockroaches on a rotten piece of meat, everyday, right across the street from me, and interfere with the enjoyment and use of our own home! We call on them, they catch them and give them a slap on the wrist... and I get a parking ticket for obeying the policeman! go figure! Funny how the real criminals get away with everything and those of us who are doing no wrong get screwed! Seems they have more rights then I do.

And I still have no idea what he supposedly gave me a verbal warning about!

I'M STILL ALIVE...

2009-06-08T16:58:00.002-04:00

Well I figured it was about time to check back in here. I have been very busy taking care of my health issues. I am also busy trying to get some order back into my life. Time was that I was so organized I might have been considered by some to have been a little anal..I am trying to reorganize my life to make it easier for me to deal with the day to day shit. I don't have a lot of time for other things right now including the Internet and this blog, but I am collecting stories, and pictures in the hopes of getting back here. I am sure I lost a lot of readers, and that makes me sad, but real life takes priority and will take a backseat to nothing. I have been reading some of my favorite blogs today trying to catch up in their lives too...almost impossible to do in one day. Any who, I'm alive and kicking still, and will try to get back to my writing as soon as possible!

EASTER CHRISTENING....

2009-04-14T13:00:00.007-04:00

While I was home baking this cake for the Easter Christening of our grandson, It's not as straight as I would have liked, but I was baking AND decorating this all in one day, and I think it was somewhere around 4am on Easter that I finished it and still had to iron the christening gown,Eric's shirt, and take a shower,get some sleep, and be up by 9:30am..not to mention I had been cleaning all day,and getting ready to have guests over for a ham dinner, and I also had deviled eggs to do..Yes wonder woman came out and got er' done!

Eric went to the store to pick up something to give him.. I thought he did pretty darn well..for a guy! lol personally I would have gone traditional and bought either Daniel's first rosary, or a cross necklace,but Eric thinks he should get that stuff when he is older,and so this is what he bought.and a beautiful christening card

And one for Daniel to listen to, it plays When you wish upon a star...

Now this is a happy child...and he didn't seem to mind wearing the christening gown that I hand made for my godchildren many years ago and kept in one of those space bags,which by the way really work,the satin is still as beautiful as the day I made it. It has been through 3 of my godchildren and now my first grandchild! I will now store it away again to be used by the next one to pop out! I felt honored that the kids wanted him to wear it,they chose it over the christening outfit that the other grandmother had that was used for her son. I know a christening gown is "old fashioned" but that's me...I kinda like traditions..and old things...

The proud parents
The Christening...I have a lot of pictures, just can't post them all.
Father SwidevskiFour generations

The mother, the other grandparents (and now godparents too).

I thought this a little weird, but I'm told it's quite common in the catholic church.

OK, now here's the story..and a little bitching on my part. First I was pissed that the kids chose to do this on EASTER! I already had plans, and so didn't most other family members, They were not thinking at all when they chose this date, and they only told us two weeks before, and asked me to do the invitations and cake! WTF??? Why didn't the "godparents/other grandparents" do it? why me? I'll tell you why, because I'm a sucker, that's why, but I did bitch them out pretty good about it, then I BOUGHT the invitations and made the mommy fill them out AND send them , I don't think she was very happy with that but too bad, then she made some really bad mistakes with the addressing of them, the invite she sent here was addressed ONLY to Eric! I almost didn't go just out of spite, and I cringed inside to think how she did the rest of them,but when I confronted her about it she said that Eric Jr. told her to do it that way because neither of them knew how to do it! Well hell I DO have a name! WTF? not only this but they still live at Eric's dad's house and I told them they needed to ask her mother to let them have the after party at her house because of all the construction that is going on at Eric's dad's house..her mother refused! and so they had it in a dirty breezeway, in the middle of a construction zone,and the food sucked, sorry BUT true, Eric's dad refused to make food for everyone, and I don't blame him as he had plans to come here for Easter, and besides it was up to the kids to take care of all that..they didn't, the other grandmother bought some food platters. People were pretty hungry, and as you see, the table below is pretty empty,not enough food for everyone. Not to mention other then the vegetables, the rest wasn't very good.

(James sharing a special moment with his nefew Daniel.)

Good thing I made a big cake! When I left there was less then a quarter of this left!

This cake was huge and should have fed 90 people if cut right! I'm basing this number on the fact that the cake pan directions said a double layer sheet cake this size should feed 180 people.

This was the extent of the gifts given. There were about 15 people there, I guess they weren't impressed about it being held on Easter either!

Then this arrived with Eric's dad when he came later for dinner..from Daniel's parents, they asked Eric's dad to ask me if I would copy it for the Godparents,the scrapbook I made for him,and would I keep it in my fireproof safe? Oh yeah and the little shirt thing the Ladies guild made for Daniel's christening (refer to picture with the priest holding him) came too, for me to hand wash,press, and preserve...not asking much are they?

I guess I should be flattered that they trust me with this stuff huh?
But then again, sometimes I feel like I'm being used...maybe I'm wrong for feeling this way,or maybe I'm just cranky and tired from all the extra work when I'm not feeling well...But I feel better for getting this off my chest, now I'm gonna go take something for this dam headache!

It's time to put me out to pasture...or euthanize me!

2009-04-06T12:51:00.015-04:00

I know it's been a while since I last put a story on here,so I decided to give all of you a peek into my life as of late,and maybe you'll understand why I have let my blog go for a little while.

If you have been reading my blog you know that both my retinas are detaching, which of course does limit the time I spend staring at the monitor on my computer, sucks,but that's life! But the story I'm about to share is personal,and a little bit embarrassing in parts,and even though I use humor to get through it,is in reality a very disturbing look into our health care system here in the USA..*****None of the names used for the Doctors or health care people are real,this is to protect the guilty portrayed in this story,I have enough problems without getting sued!*****

I will start off with the facts as short as possible. I had to lose everything I had worked all my life to get,my house,my marriage,our business,many personal possessions,and our antique car that was worth about twenty thousand dollars,but had to sell so quickly we took a huge loss. suffice to say I lost everything,even my dignity. We were both very ill and had accumulated HUGE hospital bills etc. all I have left is my car and that is over seventeen years old. We couldn't even afford to go bankrupt,cause surprise surprise,it costs money, so doesn't a divorce,and so we had to settle to get separated. Now here's the first shocker,I have a boyfriend who has such a big heart, he allowed us to move into his home with him,yes I moved in with my "husband"in tow. Now how many men do you know that could deal with that? OK,now that I have trashed myself in the eyes of all my readers,Let me go on to tell you,we all get along very well, and the men have become best friends,and do a lot of "guy" things together,it may seem weird,but somehow it seems to work,and since I have become quiet ill as of late, I am so grateful to have the support of both of these wonderful men,most would have found a way to walk away. They chose to stay.

OK, now let's get to the beginning of this health care nightmare. I had to apply for state help,which in this state is called SAGA. First let me say that most people at SAGA are very helpful as far as information goes,and it does cover a lot of medical stuff in full for me. Applying was a nightmare for me though,I guess I had a lot of pride,that went right out the door,they rip you apart and examine your life inside and out before they accept you,it's embarrassing to say the least,and on more then one occasion brought me to tears,tears of embarrassment and pity, I have never before in my life been this destitute and had to seek any type of government help. This time I had no choice. And so, I asked, and received. Then the real nightmares began.

You can only go to certain doctors,and hospitals, first you must find a Primary care doctor..let me tell you this is the hardest part,there are not a lot of doctors who even take this insurance,and the ones that do aren't really interested in you,they just want to get you in and out as fast as possible,will only address ONE thing per visit,and I am told(discretely by one of the nurses) that the reason for this is so that the doctors can make money off you because this insurance doesn't pay the type of fees they get from other insurances,or from! self paying people,which leads to the doctor barely spending time with you,and it takes for ever and a lot of pushing to get them to address your problems!

Well the first doctor I found was Dr.Mean,this doctor on my very first visit,and yes it was a set appointment, not only yelled at me because his assistants had over booked him,but after talking to me for all of five minutes told me he didn't have enough time for me that day,come back tomorrow and he'll give me my full exam then! No appointment this time just come after eight thirty am and he'll see what he can do. I was shocked to say the least to be treated this way,I am grossly underplaying what was said, but I'm sure you get the drift,needless to say,I wasn't feeling very confident about this new doctor,and I was so pissed that I had wasted my time and my gas,and at how callously I had just been treated that my blood pressure went through the roof,and I felt like smacking this smug nasty bastard right in the kisser! But of course. I'm a lady and I refrained from doing so. The next day I went back,I was there at eight thirty am,and sat and waited for one and a half hours before being herded into one of the dirtiest rooms I have ever seen in a doctors office,to say I was unimpressed is an understatement,then the nurse comes in, takes my vitals,and then I sit,and sit,and sit,another hours passes,finally the Dr. Mean appears and very briefly goes over the paperwork I have filled out in triplicate,and thought the information is in the papers,asks me all the same questions,half of what he asks I can barely understand because he doesn't speak English well at all,and had a heavy accent,and He got pissed off and raised his voice every time I had to ask him to repeat himself! not a good beginning at all. Then he tells me they are going to take blood right there in the office,I am used to going to a lab for this,and am not too thrilled with having needles stuck in my in this not so clean place,actually I was horrified,but I figured beggars can't be choosers and I have to at least try to get a long here as doctors for this insurance are far and few between. Not only did the guy dig in my are to find my vein,which hurt like hell,he told me I HAD to let him stick yet another needle in me to do a TB test! WTF??? I don't have that,and I certainly haven't been exposed to it,and I don't live in poverty (thanks to my boyfriend) and there was no real reason to do it,they insisted that the insurance told them it was a must for all new patients,I told him NO I didn't want it,I have reactions to too many things,and there was no way I was letting them stick that shit in my arm! the guy promptly grabbed my arm and injected me! AFTER I SAID NO!!!!!

needless to say, I was pissed, and yes I had a witness with me for all this,I did develop a reaction to it a huge rash,which drove me nuts,and NO it wasn't saying I had TB, just an allergic reaction to the shot, when Dr. Mean saw it two days later, he said well you don't have TB, BUT yes you have a rash, let me give you a prescription for cream for it. I also had a sinus infection and needed antibiotics too, now I TOLD this man more then ONCE that I can't take eurythromicin or anything that is a derivative of it, and that I was having eye surgery in just a few days, not only did he give me a STEROID cream for the rash, which is a big NO NO before any surgery,he also gave me azithromicin which is a derivative of erythromicin!!! WTF? is this guy trying to kill me?

WAIT it gets better,I had to go back to see him yet again, for blood result etc. This man was having such a bad day that he not only gave me wrong results,but spent 3 minutes with me,then said he had to cut our appointment short because he had to go pick up his kid from school! Yeah you saw that right another appointment broken and another waste of my time and gas. I got tired of how I was being treated, and that I couldn't get him to give me the referrals I needed, so I called the insurance company and told all,they were so shocked that they had their legal department call me back,they asked a lot of questions and have decided to go after him for fraud. They want me to testify. They will have to compensate me for this or it's a no go. I'm pissed and not going to play games. Wait it gets even better.

I find a second doctor with the help of a very kind and concerned woman at SAGA, it took three more weeks to do so. Another "Indian" doctor, but fortunately this one speaks a better English! But this one is the same, one thing per visit please, which means multiply trips to the doctor so that he can make as much as possible from the insurance! I had to fight with this one too to get the references I needed to see the specialists I need to see! But in the end I did get them, but it was a fight and didn't do my health any good, if I had had to wait to see an eye Dr. I would have gone blind already! anyway I also found out that this doctors office was OWNED by, get this, Dr. MEAN! holy shit, I got interrogated by Dr. Number Two about why I chose to change, I wisely told him I didn't wish to discuss it, which in turn pissed off Dr. Number Two to no end. This Dr. has been a little better in helping though not much,and for now I can't afford to change again at this late date,so I'm stuck being taken care of by someone who just wants the money and just really has no feelings for his patients. Now let me tell you the nightmare this one has put me through, not only did he not want to hear about the abdomen pain I was in but 2 days later I had to go into the hospital with a fever of 103,couldn't walk, blood pressure 176/112 and heart rate of 112 bpm! Boy was I sick,the hospital that I went to had me in and out in less then 45 minutes, said I had a bad UTI and sent me home with antibiotics and 2 percocets. My Endocrinologist was pretty pissed about this,being that I am a diabetic he said the least they should have done was a bladder and kidney scan,but apparently the hospital doesn't care for my insurance either and so home I went to suffer for a few more days. BUT when I finally got back to my new primary care doctor,and told him that my other doctor was going to call him if he didn't have the CT scans done right away, I actually got some results,BUT there was a catch..he wanted MORE blood, and wanted his person there to take it! The following pictures will show you the results of this...

First try...blew out my vein..

Second try, successful after much digging, but left blood under my skin!

The next day I went for the CT scan..Ever drink Barium?...um it's so not the easiest to get down, let alone keep it down. I got to the Radiologist's office at 12pm, drank 2 cups of Barium,sat and waited. 1pm drank a third cup,1:15pm a fourth cup! 1:30 go into CT room . They decide they might need to do a scan with that dye they inject,so they put an IV line in to administer it. Well,they scanned,then decided they did need the dye,and so into my IV it went..OOHOOO my cooter (yes my vagina) got so warm and tingly, it felt like I had just had a big O without all the muss and fuss! lol BUT I also got really hot all over like I was hot flashing about 2 minutes later which didn't feel good at all! Anyway,here it is a week later and my asshole DR. still hasn't called with the results,as with everything else I will have to call there myself to find out anything,because well, he's an asshole that way. On to the next appointment....

The Podiatrist

I had the worst time getting this appointment,they place I needed to go is out of my area,and they didn't want to take me. BUT after three months of fighting,and finally having someone I know,but can't name,pull some strings..they gave in and gave me an appointment! I knew I had a bone spur,and figured with some new shoes , which I could get through this Dr. and the insurance would cover,that I would be up and walking and losing those extra pounds I recently put on...Yeah right,ME? have something actually go right? what a scream...if it wasn't for bad luck,I wouldn't have any luck at all. This is what happened.

I am sitting on the table with my shoes off and the first Dr., Dr. Girl (named also changed to protect the guilty) grabs my right foot,the one I just told her hurt,and proceeds to tap two of her fingers on the inside of my right foot,right above the heel and below the ankle,right on the nerve....OMG! the pain that shot up the underneath of my foot was something I had never experienced in my life,and I almost kick punted her face,but lucky for her she had that sucker in a death grip to prevent just such a happening. And she calmly looks at me and says"Did that hurt?"...(Ummmm no I just fucking love making those screeching noises to see if your paying attention to me! ) Yes! that hurt.....then she tells me that I probably have foot fungus...after I asked her what she though that is..but also after I've told her that it doesn't itch or burn,and I have tried every dam over the counter stuff there is,and foot soaks etc,not to mention four other Dr.s gave me steroid creams to no avail! IT IS NOT FUNGUS!!!! I also have a small patch on my hands,and the Dr. I saw in Florida years ago, said it was some kind of contact dermatitis from a plant,but for the life of me I can't remember how he treated it, and it seems I am doomed to have my poor feet keep peeling till they get raw until one of these Dr's. finally get smart enough to do a skin biopsy! This shit is painful and definitely not pretty,but isn't contagious, and comes and goes, fungus on the other hand grows and grows. Oh well maybe they will figure it out someday! Anyway, in comes the "real" Dr., Dr.Foot, He sits down laughs a little with me, looks at my feet, grabs my foot, and Wham! hits it with a little rubber hammer right where Dr. Girl just hit me! I must admit this brought instant tears to my eyes. I almost thought he looked like he enjoyed causing me the pain, but that could just have been my imagination, since after all my eyes were crossed while I screeched with pain! lol Then he looks me in the eye and says"Well my dear, you have Plantar Fasciitis you need to come back in two weeks and get a shot of cortisone in your foot, if this works great, if it doesn't we will be doing surgery on you right away,oh and both your arches are starting to fall so I'm going to send in the shoe guy". I'm sitting there in shock, in walks the shoe guy, he gives me a sympathetic look, hands me his card and says see you Thursday to mold your feet, and off he goes, and I get up put my shoes on and painfully limp my way out of the hospital, from the second floor to the lobby, then up another elevator to the second floor parking and search for my car which I now have trouble finding through the tears that are blinding my eyes...and home I go.

My ugly foot.

Three days later..............The sleep clinic....fun, fun, fun...I get to do a sleepover!

First let's start at the beginning. Dr. Number Two took measurements of my neck, looked at my tongue, asked if I snored (ummm ok, could be, but if I'm sleeping,how do I know if I snore?!?!) Anyway He decided I needed to be tested for sleep apnea and so they sent a woman over to my house with a couple of torture devices that I had to wear to bed all night long, she picked them up the next day,I went back to bed, because after all I had been under torture all night long, and she went off to hook the contraptions up to a computer to see how I did. Well apparently I stopped breathing a few time during the night, and so then I got a referral to a sleep clinic! wonderful!

So off I went to Gaylord Sleep Medicine.......

Now there is shit load of paper work they send you which MUST be completed before you go. It took me about one hour to get through all the stupid questions, and I mean stupid. Made no sense to me, but hey I'm not a sleep expert. Oh yeah, then they tell you to bring your own pillows if this will make you more comfortable, and bring your normal sleep wear too. (I sleep in my birthday suit ! (I'd blind them with my lily white ass if I wore my usual!) I opted to wear a nightie, though I knew I would wake up feeling like I was choking,but what the heck, I figured I wouldn't get much sleep anyway.

7:45 pm We arrive.

It's dark out and camera is so not cooperating with me!

7:55 pm I am led to room #1

Personally,I thought it looked like someone had just gotten out of the bed!

but it seems they just kinda throw it all together,and then lay out all the wires they are going to rebuild you with!

As my technician was hooking me up, in walked Adam looking like this! If he had any idea I was posting this he would kill me! lol

He then returned the favor, so that I could embarrass myself on this blog!
The technician then finishes hooking me up to this cabinet...Myserious isn't it? I never did get to peek into it!

Me all hooked up and tied to the bed for the night!

(picture cropped to protect what little modesty I have left after this)

Then the best part comes..she tells me about how they monitor you ALL night long...
We can hear EVERY sound you make,there are higly sensitive microphones all over,(of course I'm thinking, Great what if I have to fart , or fart in my sleep?) and that the wires hooked up to my head, with all that nice sticky nasty glue, will tell them when I am awake,or sleeping, (great so if I do fart I pray it IS in my sleep!) I have straps and wires on my chest, head, and legs, feel like I am in a straight jacket and somehow I don't feel the least bit tired after all it's only about 10:00pm at this point,and they tell me lights out are at 11pm no if, and's or but's! F-ing wonderful! Oh yeah then she tells me right before the lights go out...they will be watching me VIA a infra-red camera too...ALL NIGHT LONG!

tHIS IS THE LAST THING i SEE BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO OUT!

Next morning, 5 am I hear this LOUD voice saying "GOOD MORNING ( I am SO NOT a morning person,and I wanted to smack her for being so loud) Now she tells me she has to ask me a thousand and one questions and then she will come unhook me so that I can get dressed and go hom to shower and scrape all thea wonderful nasty glue out of my hair and off my body! She tells me when she comes in that I didn't sleep very well..(no shit) that My legs were restless(no shit again) and was wondering how long I thought I had actually slept.(well if the fucking bed wasn't as hard as rock, I might have gotten some!) that because I didn't get enough REM sleep I may have to repeat this again............I think NOT!

***********NEWS FLASH******************
My sister just informed me that Mr Bumenthal (states attorney) has somehow determined that a lot of the "indian" and or "foreign" doctors we have in our health care system, may be practicing with forged credentials,or are NOT fully trained! If this is true, could be why I am getting second rate care!

PLEASE SOME ONE PUT ME OUT TO PASTURE,OR EUTHANIZE ME!

December Skies..........

2009-02-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

Just some pictures of the skies...times I actually remembered to take my camera with me!

Red skies at night,sailor's delight!

The Perfect Turkey...

2009-02-18T02:07:00.001-05:00

I have so many pictures backed up and so many things I wanted to write about,but due to health issues,I haven't been able to do as much as I wanted to..so now I am trying to catch up with the things that have been happening! lol I had to cook this turkey last month because of a freezer problem...And I just had to share pictures of it because it just came out so perfect! It was the moistest turkey I have ever made,and I think it's because I tried something new,I massaged that bird real good with some very expensive olive oil and spices. The skin did not rip apart anywhere on it as you can see,and it kept the moisture in so good that the guys (while eating it) said "are you sure it's cooked all the way?" LOL YES! I said,I wouldn't have served if it wasn't silly men! lol but they sure enjoyed it..and the leftovers made a wonderful soup that my sister Karen and her husband John got to enjoy with me when they came the following Monday and spent the whole day with me! First time since I moved here that I had family over to eat..I forgot how nice it was to have company..can't wait to do it again...I miss my family..I used to see them every weekend...funny how when things go wrong you can pull away from those who you probably need the most!

Who Prints this stuff????

2009-02-17T09:00:00.001-05:00

OK, I'm a fairly good speller,and I KNOW there are a lot of people who aren't,and I usually don't make a big deal out of it...BUT you would think that the printing companies who print signs etc. would take the time to make sure their clients don't look stupid,RIGHT?,WRONG!!!! lol Take a look at this sign,and by the way there is a matching sign on the side of the building! So they got it wrong TWICE! Then I found this,Karaoke.

And that's not all, I was without my camera,but I saw a big sign on the side of a Chinese restaurant it said WE DELIVERY...Gee is that the same as we deliver? I also saw we delivery on a take out menu that came in the mail...What happened to proper English? I think those printers should be embarrassed!

Full Moon....

2009-02-16T13:33:00.000-05:00

On February ninth there was a full moon...I saw it shining through the clouds and tree branches,my camera isn't as good as I would like,and I had to photo shop the pictures some to be able to see the tree,but it was just interesting to me that night and so I though I would try to share what I saw,the pictures just don't do it justice...I was kinda bummed because these pictures look like the backdrop of a old scary movie instead of what I considered to be a beautiful sight..Oh well, guess someday I'll get it right! lol

Chicken Stir-fry Leftovers...Make a mean pie!

2009-02-16T01:40:00.003-05:00

I had so much left over chicken,and I had NO idea what to do with it...So I asked Adam what did he think,and he said "How about a chicken pot pie?" Now the left over chicken I had was in a stir fry I had made on Friday...I wasn't sure I could turn a stir fry into a pot pie,but I figured what the heck,and gave it a try...Let me tell you it was the best ever pot pie! Funny thing is Eric said he would eat something else because he really didn't care for pot pies...But after watching Adam and I eat some,he asked for a slice and ate it all up! lol Said he liked it..go figure???!!! LOL Must be all that take out food that changed his mind! lol

Valentine's Day Surprise....

2009-02-16T01:16:00.005-05:00

I haven't been feeling well again,and I even passed up going out to eat at my favorite restaurant last week,so the guys have been pretty good at ordering in food to make things easier on me,and I felt bad that they weren't getting the good home cooked healthy meals I usually give them.

I knew they wanted to take me to dinner on Valentines day so I stayed up the night before and made them each a strawberry cake of their own to show my appreciation,I also baked banana bread to mask the smell of the cake! When we got home from dinner I heard the guys talking about what might be available for dessert so I went into the kitchen and whipped out these.

I handed each of them a cake,and a fork! lol and they promptly dug in..... this is what was left over!

Eric's

Adam's

As of today there is nothing left lol! Not my best artistically but somehow I think they liked them...

Fly Free.......

2009-02-04T23:21:00.002-05:00

Today, my parakeet,and long time companion,Star died today. He was eleven years, eight months old,and that's a very long time for a parakeet,so I know I treated him well and that he had a pretty darn good life. I got him as a baby and from day one I only caged him at night.
Star was allowed to fly around the living room,I never clipped his wings,and in exchange for that,he never left the living room or damaged anything in it. I made sure he had all the bells and whistles,more toys then I care to mention lol,and I gave him just about anything he wanted to eat that was good for him.
Star was being remembered today by family members and friends and we all seemed to have some kind of funny story or memory of him. Yup he was a "STAR",everyone that ever came to my home couldn't believe how well trained he was. Of course some of the memories were pretty funny,like how he had a fetish for toes! lol I swear that bird could love your toes up for hours on end,just cuddling and talking to them lol,my Mother thought that was just the cutest thing,any one's toes were fair game if they sat in the recliner and put their feet up,I can't remember how many people he made laugh,but it was quite a few!
The there was the memory of how horny this little guy was! lol and how much he like to do the wild thing with his plastic Tweety bird! and how the first time we saw him get off,he just flopped over and rolled down the roof of his cage and fell onto the piano top! We thought he had had a heart attack and died on us,only to realize he had just gotten his rocks off! OMG that was just too funny..and then the way he loved when we sang karaoke,and how when his "god mommy" Cindy sang he would tilt his head,his eyes would close halfway,and he would softly chirp along with her as if mesmerized by her voice...
I remember when he had a stroke and couldn't fly anymore,but how he made a come back and enjoyed many more years of life,just had to learn to use ladders to get up and down which he took to with out batting an eyelash. And how when he got sick last October,and even the vet said he wouldn't make it,he bounced back and gave us six more months of joy!
I knew this morning that he was leaving me today,mommies just know these things I guess,I was sad,but I knew it was his time,he lived longer then most parakeets,so I guess I did something right.
I cried softly to myself as I disinfected and cleaned up his cage and toys,putting them away for a day when I might want another parakeet,though he will be a hard act to follow,
and I still have Baby,my other bird who at this moment is clinging to me like a tick on a dog,and she is babbling softly in my ear,and cuddling as close as she can get,I'm not sure how much she understands,but she is acting strange for her and I wonder if she realizes what happened,or if a bird can even have that kind of comprehension,My guess would be that she does on some level know,and seems to be a little sad over it,but maybe that is just me projecting how I feel on to her..who knows?..Anyway,Star's passing closes yet another chapter in my life,and he will be greatly missed.

Fly Free my handsome little man with the stinky birdy feet,mommy loves you and will always remember you...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2009-01-30T16:19:00.009-05:00

Happy Birthday MOM! Since I can not be with you today,I decided to give you a gift that will delight you! (sorry if at the same time it makes you cry or feel sad.) .....A walk down memory lane.....

Once upon a time Clara Myrtle married Alfred....lol

( Walter Hart,Alfred,Clara,and Celia)

(updated by mom)

For a many years they were happy, for the most part.

They had lots of friends and family!

( on couch, Aunt Minnie(mom's),al and clara, no idea,some friends!,kids in background looks like Bunny the man is Vern not sure on the other two kids,and the last woman to the right is a cousin through marriage,last name of Doner.)

Then they decided to have kids........lol

Linda Susan

1955-2007

(mom said wasn't she beautiful?)

Karen Ann

1956

(mom said, she was always somber looking,didn't smile alot,her little stubborn one! lol)

Lorraine May

1957

( Mom said, she was always on the go,very active and always laughing!)

Bruce Allan

1959

( Mom said he was always quiet,and loved to be wtih his uncles Ernie and Henry)

And of course........the last, but not least, ME! lol

Terri Lee

1964

(Mom said,You! you were always carefree, always getting into everything! The BRAT! LOL)

A Christmas before me! lol

Your oldest daughter's wedding.......

You doing her hair.

Linda in her wedding gown.

Your first grandchild Renee...(I think?)Your favorite brother, Ernie,my godfather.

Ernie,Mary,and Mary Lou.

And now,special just for your birthday!

A mystery man! lol

(sorry couldn't find a naked incriminating one, guess you'll just have to settle for this! LOL)

Do you know who this is?

The picture was taken in front of our old house.

Mom said: Handsome man! LOL But,she didn't know him

And this is 1947

Edith Eldred

Do you know her?

(Mom said: This is Tootie's mother! her mother's sister!)

Well I hope you enjoyed this little trip backwards in time Mom.

Karen says: "Happy Birthday!,

Let's see how good your memory is! lol"

Lorraine says: "Happy Birthday!,Hope you enjoy the pictures!"

Bruce says: Sorry mom,seems he changed his number yet again! lol I tried to get a hold of him and no luck.

And of course,a Big ((((((((( HUG))))))))))) from us girls!

We love you MOM!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

MOM'S MEMORY:

Mom also brought up the memory of the three older girls taking off up the street and how mad she was at the three of you ,chased you all home and poor Lorraine got paddled wtih a hairbrush all the way home because she couldn't run fast enough! LOL

Laser Eye Surgery...A Success!

2009-01-24T12:08:00.004-05:00

I'm back! And I'm happy to report that eye surgery #1 is a success! I do know that it could start ripping again,and probably will but at least now I have a fighting chance of keeping at least one!

And one eye is better then none! LOL

I decided that now that I can get back on here,and that I finally fixed my digital imaging problems, I can now download all my pictures and write the stories I wanted to since around Christmas! lol sorry they are a little off timed, but better late then never right?

And I also thought I would entertain all of you with the hideous picture of how sick and tired I really look right now (no filters of FX stuff was used in the taking of theses photos! LOL) Beware that the following images may cause you nightmares,and please don't scare any children with them (unless of course they were really bad and deserve it! lol)

My oh so tired look, and the left eye that just went through hell to stay alive!

This is my new mug shot! lol aren't my new specs the most fashionable things you've ever seen? lol I'm so Gangsta!

OK. now that I have totally embarrassed myself I think I'll post this before I chicken our!

Life strikes me another blow,but I'm still laughing! LOL

2009-01-20T09:31:00.006-05:00

Hello everyone, I know there are some of you who are worried about why I haven't been on here writing....Well here I am...I am alive! LOL
I came on here today to tell all of you some things you may or may not know about me.
I am very ill, have been since I was younger, I have diabetes,glaucoma,asthma,and numerous allergies,and unexplained pain in the muscles and joints,not to mention a possibility of lupus or MS...isn't life wonderful? lol
Yet through all this I have kept up the most positive attitude that I could,I didn't let it stop me from doing the things I loved,and I made fun of myself with friends ( on Slingo) who are also sick and had quite a few laughs at our predicaments,heck even when I found a lump in my breast I didn't cry! I figured I've had them for years, they are getting droopy,oh hell cut em off! lol then I can be whatever size I want and at long last I could wear a button down shirt! Yippee!, but of course the lump turned out to be a cyst, so no luck there! LOL
THAT I COULD DEAL WITH.................

Now to last week..In I go to get my annual eye exam and get me some spiffy new glasses! and as they are doing a full exam I realized some of what they were doing wasn't routine! HMMMMMMM pictures of my eyes? that's weird,only my glaucoma specialist does that...I look at the computer screen as the pictures pop up,and I realize something isn't right,I have after all seen my eyeballs up close and personal quite a few times over the past decade. Of course, dumb ass that I am, HAD to ask the technician what those things that looked like holes in my eyes were, poor guy got nervous and said "well I'm not supposed to talk to you about this,your supposed to talk to the Dr. "uh huh,I knew it, and of course I told him I could see something was wrong, he silently nodded his head in agreement...and the look on his face told me it wasn't good.
So after the Dr. told me she thought (THOUGHT) I had some kind of holes in my eyes she said she was sure I would be a good candidate for laser surgery, and should be just fine,OK, I can deal. It's not that bad right?
So that night I get this woman calling me from the retina specialist's, and she is PUSHING me to come in the very next morning, her voice seemed very nervous sounding and she would NOT let up about how I really needed to come the next day! WTF? NOW I'm getting the idea that something is really really wrong.
So I go in the next day at 1:45PM, and the torture began! lol not only did I get about 15 different kinds of drops in my eyes,some that burned, blurred, dilated,and numbed me! then they took pictures and pictures and test after test, then and only then did I see the Dr., If you could call what I was doing seeing! LOL NOW the real torture began! this man took one of those cotton swabs on a long wooden stick and was using it to squish my poor abused eyeballs up and down and all around!, it felt like he was trying really hard to pop my eyeballs out of their sockets! LOL Oh, I can laugh now,but I was definitely crying then! LOL big baby that I am.
He got all upset because I said it hurt! WTF? I can take a lot of pain but that was ridiculous!,
OK, so now he decides to put this thing on my eyeball that kinda looks like a jeweler's loop,they lube it up with some type of goop, like KY, and proceed to stick it on my eyeball, while the assistant held my head in a deathly grip, pushing me forward so that I could NOT escape! lol
Then get this!, he shines a light so bright into my eye that I go instantly blind for about 3 seconds and then I can see the veins in my eye! holy shit! the pain is only something you can imagine if you haven't experienced it, I like to think of it as worse then the rack in medevil times,worse then having my fingernails pulled off one by one! OK, a little eggageration on my part, but not much! LOL and when that was done I had MORE pictures taken.

Now what he told me is going to be MUCH harder to deal with...this time I'm scared.
I have retinal tears in my eyes...HUH? Whats that?! What that means is BOTH retinas are detaching! I mean you've GOT to be kidding right? BLIND? ME?
How can this be? I am devastated! all that I do depends on my eyesight. I can't imagine a world with out reading, decorating cakes, watching TV, cooking, blogging, crafts. At my age how do I adjust to this? all I will have left is my voice, how will I even clean my home? Yep the pity party started about two days after I got through with the second set of Dr's. who then crashed my elation that laser surgery could fix what was wrong! Oh don't get me wrong they can do laser in ONE eye,( this wont stop them from tearing again!)but unfortunately my other must undergo major surgery, popped out of my eye socket like a big zit, and wrapped with a scleral buckle, HUH? what the hell is that?, it is basically a plastic belt that they sew in place around the eyeball! 85% chance it might work, but of course there are PROBLEMS...yeah no shit? it may work but may NOT restore the vision,(OK, so why have it done then?) it could cause the eyelid to droop (OK, this I can deal with) it may not be able to move and may only stare forward
(OK ,I look goofy anyway, guess I could deal with it) SIX MONTH OR MORE RECOVERY TIME........OMG! Do you have ANY idea what my house would be like if I couldn't clean for SIX MONTHS????!!!!LOL Oh and sometimes it doesn't work the first time..and have to redo it..FUCK ME! can this get ANY worse?
I'm pissed,and I'm fighting mad! I have had so much shit dealt to me over the past three years I thought it couldn't get any worse..I WAS WRONG!
This will NOT win,I will NOT lose my sight! I refuse to! I pushed the Dr. into setting up laser surgery for my left eye,I will be going in at 9:40 am on this Thursday. If I so much as cough or sneeze while the laser is in use..I'm blinded, permanently! They DO NOT put you out for this procedure,and it could take hours, Xanax take me away! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
As for my right eye? the Dr. told me to my face that he DOESN'T want to do it. BUT, if I decide to after waiting two months, He will do it, but he wont like it. lol Yeah real comedian! this guy is a no nonsense no bullshit kind of guy, you may not like what he says, but your getting the truth, unvarnished, no kid gloves! He's a real Bastard, but I guess that comes from being so dam good at what he does. Could be worse,his breath could smell too! LOL

These eyes, cry every night for you

These arms, they long to hold you again

The hurtin's on me

And I will never be free, no

Gave a promise to me

Then you broke it, and you broke it

These eyes, watched you bring my world to an end

This heart, just could not accept and pretend

The hurtin's on me

I will never be free, no

You took a vow with me

And you spoke it, when you spoke it

CHORUS

These eyes, are cryin'

These eyes have seen alot of love

But they're never gonna see another

like I had with you(Repeat X2)

These eyes, watched you bring my world to an end

This heart, just could not accept and pretend

CHORUS X2

These eyes, cry every night for you

These eyes

Home Made Christmas Presents..Part 2

2008-12-21T05:23:00.009-05:00

Well here it is part 2! I know most of you will ask WHY? I would go through he trouble to colorize chocolate lollipops,well the answer is simple,look at the pictures below and tell me which ones look nicer! lol here are the pictures of what I was doing at 4am this morning!

This is what they look like if you just use one color.

I wasn't happy with how they looked so off I went to get...

some of these..chocolate colors in tubes!

you just put them in hot water to melt,snip the tip, and go!
and you can reheat them till you use them up.

I also use my candy palate to hand mix colors I couldn't get.

My tools,toothpicks and brushes.

First you outline everything,then you start to color one color at a time.

They start to look like this.

Then you let that harden while you melt some milk chocolate to fill in the rest and to secure the stick.
Then it looks like this. And then you pop it in the refrigerator to set up.

Then you bag them individually,and tape the bag tightly around the stick.
and put them into the box.

After boxing them up,you get out the blow dryer and shrink wrap.

Cut to just slightly larger then box and fold edges like you would for ends of presents. The shrink wrap is clingy so only two very small pieces of tape are require to hold it in place.

And TA DA! it looks like it came wrapped from the store!

All sealed and ready to wrap and put under the tree!

Can't wait to see if they fall for it!

Now off to wrap all the presents,and to make the last no sew fleece blanket!

I know cutting it close,but that's what happens when you stay ill for 3 dam months!

only a few days left..hope I get it done!

It's 6:19 am on the 21st....Time is running out.....

Home made presents.....Part 1

2008-12-20T08:00:00.001-05:00

OK, this year I'm making some home made presents, and one of them is for the our boys girlfriends,who both love chocolate, and Winnie the Pooh characters! I did some surfing on the Internet,and finally found some chocolate Winnie the Pooh molds! they were hard to find,but find them I did!

They arrived,but weren't the best made molds,so I decided to do it the hard way and hand paint the chocolates! First I had to completely out line the backs of the molds with permanent ink in order to be able to see where to put the colors...After doing this I was able to colorize the chocolates quite well.

Now I want to try to fool the girl's into thinking I ordered these from England,not so far fetched as I do have friends over there!,so I created box covers and backs to make it look real,and I bought some basket shrink wrap which I will cut to size and then shrink on the boxes with a hair dryer to seal it! can't wait to see if they fall for it! lol Hey when you don't have a lot of money you have to be inventive! anyway I took pictures of it all hope you enjoy looking at them!

mold 1

mold 2

eeyore

Tigger

Piglet

And of course Winne the Pooh

These are the boxes

the back

Well even if they don't fool them,I think they will love them, and that's all that counts!

And NO, you really don't want to know how long it takes to do the hand painting! LOL

Oh Christmas Tree..........

2008-12-18T23:44:00.008-05:00

Christmas time is drawing near,and this year I decided to put up not one small tree but the bigger one as well.

The past few years haven't been the most joyful,but this year seems to be different,maybe because I don't feel so bad having lost everything,I am realizing how hard things are for others,and I realized I have a lot to be grateful for,I may not have the best of health,or a lot of money,but I do still have my family and friends,we might not have much but we have each other, and with that we have a gift you can't buy...love.

This year we might not have all the big presents,and I might be making a lot of home made stuff, but it's the thought that counts,not the price ...and the best gift of all, at least to me,is knowing I'm loved. I'm not the most religious person in the world,at least not traditionally religious,but I have felt for years now that people have lost the REAL meaning of Christmas...and I think this year a lot of people are finding their way back to what it really means...Or maybe it's just the "Old Fashioned" girl in me that hopes this is so ...maybe the crash in our economy is a warning..It's time to remember our family values,time to stop and smell the roses,and be thankful for what we do have.

My little tree on the kitchen table

I tried to get a picture of it lit up, it's fiber optic...didn't show up well!

The bigger tree in the living room,notice all the Bumble ornaments? lol

Why do lighted pictures always come out blurry?

Next year if I can I'm gonna dig out my BIG tree and all my ornaments out of storage and really do it up?

O Christmas Tree O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

How steadfast are your branches!

Your boughs are green in summer's clime

And through the snows of wintertime.

O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

How steadfast are your branches!

O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

What happiness befalls me

When oft at joyous Christmas-time

Your form inspires my song and rhyme.

O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

What happiness befalls me

O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

Your boughs can teach a lesson

That constant faith and hope sublime

Lend strength and comfort through all time

.O Christmas Tree,O Christmas Tree,

Your boughs can teach a lesson .

Happy Birthday to ME.

2008-12-07T01:49:00.005-05:00

I am sitting here in the early morning hours of my forty fourth birthday,it is quiet and peaceful,and both the men are upstairs sleeping well due to the Nyquil I have dosed them with,after all turnabout is fair play,and they have both put up with my being ill for long periods,so they are due some loving care,even if it IS my Birthday!

Like I was saying I was sitting in the quiet,contemplating what the heck my next story would be,I put up my Christmas tree, but have yet to decorate it,so that was a no go,of course I could tell you WHY that tree remains unlit....well it's because silly me decided that while the men went to the drug store for Nyquil,I would go to the cellar and dig out the big box of Christmas ornaments and lights so we could trim the tree this weekend...

Well it seems that it wasn't the brightest idea I've had lately (no surprise there! lol) I got one of those Vertigo attacks halfway up the cellar steps,now these steps are not the safest to begin with and the walls are all rock,and I mean rocks that jut out all over the place (foundation Circa 1900) well I tumbled a little down the steps and planted my back and ass firmly into one of those walls! yup it hurt,I have scrapes and bruises,and I pulled my stomach muscles doing the twist while frantically grabbing for a hand hold so I didn't go head over heels and smash my stupid brains in. ANYWAY, I survived,but I'm a little achy,and I got yelled at for not waiting,which is why I'm still up at this hour..after all I KNOW I messed up, they didn't have to get mad about it..geez! But I digress here, I was talking about the nice quiet morning hours...then I heard a noise...sounded like spinning tires! so I popped my head out the door,and what do my wandering eyes see? well it was one of our cities finest..in a police car,unable to make it up our hill lol !!! Then I realized why it had been so quiet before that..it was snowing! Our first snow of the year! so I went back in to get my camera and take some pictures..this is what I saw. Gently falling snow........And I sit here remembering that I wont be rushing to try to make the birthday call first this year,as my dear Aunt Tootie is gone from this life now..and I wonder who will remember my birthday now...

Happy Birthday Aunt Tootie,thanks for sharing your birthday with me! I rang your phone number just now just so I could call you first for once,what a miracle if you had answered............I wonder did you make the car tires spin so I would look and see the snow? ..........

Our Christmas Newsletter 2008....

2008-12-03T07:00:00.008-05:00

This year I decided to give a newsletter a try,Eric, being the guy he is,didn't want me to do it...BUT there are some traditions in his family that I think should go on...at least I am giving it a try! His Mother always wrote an open letter to all her friends and family at Christmas time, to let everyone know what had transpired in that year for her and hers. This is my first attempt at this. I wonder what kind of responses I'll get from it...???

Inside each card and letter a hand made ornament with this picture on it will be included...In memory of all those who have passed in our family's..and theirs...

Dear Anonymous,Orrtanna, Pennsylvania

2008-12-01T18:57:00.003-05:00

I had to sit down and address this person from Pennsylvania,who for some reason chose to come on MY blog and be bitchy, to me...OK,I invite all to come and speak their minds here..to a point. PLEASE don't come here and tell me what to do or SAY! after all I do live in the United States of America, and the last time I checked I had the freedom of speech! I wrote a story back in October of this year...Do you know what I mean? and this person apparently is annoyed with that saying! this is what he/she wrote to me( though I am assuming it is a woman).

Anonymous said...
"I have a sister in law who says you know what I mean so much that I'm not able to have a conversation with her. What is this intense addiction to hearing someone say yes to you? Of course I know what you mean. I would have to be a complete idiot now to know what you mean. STOP SAYING "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN".

December 1, 2008 3:44 PM

Dear Anonymous,
SOOOOOO sorry you have a problem, but please refrain from telling ME what to say! that above all else was rude of you!
The phrase doesn't happen to be something I say a lot of,and you ARE a complete idiot,because you must have forgotten your name! OH I'm sorry, I shouldn't judge you (like you just did me) since I don't know you, should I? Next time don't be a COWARD(yeah that's right COWARD)..leave your name..and IF the phrase annoys you so much Dear Orrtanna,Pennsylvania writer, why in the WORLD did you Google it? lol after all that IS how you found my story! Funny isn't it?
So do me a favor, take the thong string outta your butt, and find someone else to bitch to OK?
And as for your sister in law? well, must be she thinks you don't get most of what she is saying,
or it could be she does it to test you because you only listen with half an ear and she knows it, and therefore purposely does it to see if you are paying attention to her...could it be you need to be a better listener?
As to "intense addiction" It's probably just the need to be heard and understood,something you probably don't give her poor woman. You probably think she is just an annoyance you have to deal with for your brother's sake! With a family member like you the poor woman has no need of enemies,she already has one! SO so sad!

I wish Blogger would do away with the anonymous thing,too many jerks hide behind it..

Things I've Done Meme

2008-11-29T00:15:00.008-05:00

I snitched this Meme from over Baboon Pirates who of course snitched it from someone else...lol
Thanks Capt. And since Ronnie did it too I decided to go ahead and post it..

Things I’ve done are in bold.
What I’ve done:

1. Started your own blog
Yup and I write about my whole life as boring as it is!

2. Slept under the stars
Got chilled too and ended up sick as a dog!

3. Played in a band
Does singing count?

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower
Laid on my back in a field and watch them shoot across the sky

6. Given more than you can afford to charity
Too many times, now I’m a charity case myself!

7. Been to Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo
More times then I can remember

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
SCAREY!!!

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
Too many to mention

15. Adopted a child
Do animals count? If so I have 2 at this time

16. Had food poisoning
Painful and so not fun

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
Not yet BUT Eric says he will remedy that this year (I thinks he wants to throw me off the top providing I don't have a heart attack on the way up first! ) LOL

18. Grown your own vegetables
Tomatoes, peppers, green beans, cucumbers, and some fruits too!

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight
Feathers all OVER the place! lol

22. Hitch hiked
In the middle of a blizzard with a friend

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill

24. Built a snow fort
I did a snow castle

25. Held a lamb
More then one

26. Gone skinny dipping
at hidden lake at the age of 14

27. Run a Marathon

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice

29. Seen a total eclipse
both solar and lunar

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
both

31. Hit a home run
both in softball and baseball.

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
Well I flew over it and got to see Ireland from the plane! Does that count?

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
Once upon a time

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing
Depends on whether or not the rocks I climbed as a kid counts!

40. Seen Michelangelos David

41. Sung karaoke
of course!

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
Last time I did that I think was girl’s week in FL. With my friend Lori

46. Been transported in an ambulance
When I broke my hand it was a domestic dispute police made me go to hospital!
(don’t ask)

47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing
How deep is deep? I fished for sharks..

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
Yup my brother taught me

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud
And the rain puddles!

54. Gone to a drive-in theater
A lot as a kid

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class
Still have the outfit!

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching

63. Got flowers for no reason
Yeah shocking ain’t it? lol

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
Used to, can’t any more because of diabetes

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
My Tuesday Taylor doll

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
On 8th grade field trip!

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt
More then one

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
Spent 3 weeks in England, loved it!

77. Broken a bone
hand and ankle

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
And when I got off I wanted to kill him for scaring the crap outta me!

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book
I wrote one but after my family read some of it they said they would disown me if I published it! lol Since I'm the youngest...might happen at a later date! lol

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper
I was a cheerleader in school and we won a lot of awards and got put in the paper

85. Read the entire Bible
Front to back…you probably don’t want to know what I think about it! lol

86. Visited the White House
Does looking in from the outside gates count?
8th grade field trip and they closed it the day we went!

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
just fish

88. Had chickenpox
Twice!

89. Saved someone’s life
Pulled an old lady from a burning car and a choking child

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous
If you consider Radar from Mash famous, he came from my hometown

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one
Too many this past two years

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit
Was hit by a car when I was 17 took 5 years to settle it !

98. Owned a cell phone
Still do

99. Been stung by a bee
Yup and swelled right up as I’m allergic!

100. Read an entire book in one day
Heck I do that all the time!

HAPPY THANKSGIVNG !

2008-11-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

"HAPPY THANKSGIVING!"

"HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING EVERYONE"

NEW TURKEY RECIPE!

2008-11-26T21:29:00.003-05:00

NEW TURKEY RECIPE
Your dinner will be the talk of the TOWN!!
You should try this! This will be sure to bring smiles from your guests!
Here is a new way to prepare your Thanksgiving Turkey.1. Cut out aluminum foil in desired shapes.2. Arrange the turkey in the roasting pan, position the foil carefully. (see attached picture for details)3. Roast according to your own recipe and serve.4. Watch your guests' faces...

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have never a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Memories....

2008-11-24T14:46:00.006-05:00

It's that time of year again, the one that makes you think of holidays past,of old friends,the yearning for family.....
As most of you know,I lost my home of twenty odd years to foreclosure a little over a year ago...a hit I'm still feeling... I decided this year I was going to do some decorating and celebrating sick or not. I started to unpack my past this week...it brought tears to my eyes as I unpacked my antique dishes that went so well in my dining room (which I no longer have) and was lovingly putting them in my china cabinet, one of the few pieces of furniture I refused to give up. I do still own a dining room set,and an antique buffet table that used to hold all my beautiful linens, old and new...things still in storage for which I have no room. I hold on to them for now with the hope that will will build on to this small home,and I will again have a cherished dining room..
It's the one room I miss most of all,especially this time of year when I used to fill it with all the family members it could hold and the over flow (usually the younger crowd) would be set up in the living room. Thirty or so family and friends overflowing though the beautiful old home,adding new scratches to the old wooden floors leaving behind more memories to cherish...........
I miss not having my parents with me...my Mother because she is so far away,and my Father because of his mulishness in not accepting the choices I have made in life...
As I unpacked each item,I thought of all the parties I had thrown over the years,how special each one was,memories that the family still talk about..I was the hostess with the mostess I guess! LOL No one ever went away hungry,if they had special diet needs,I took care of it,Most times I had a full bar if you wanted alcohol,and I never mixed people who didn't get along. The old owners of that home I lost used to come "home" for Christmas every year after we bought it, It was their home for so many years,and special to them the way it was to me,I invited them "home" for a small party...unusual,yes, but that's me unusual! They have all passed now except for one woman,and her nephew..they were devastated that we lost the house..no more than I was I'm sure. I found some pictures they had given me of their past parties there,and I found them yesterday and I cried..cried for them,cried for me....Have you ever just felt you belonged somewhere? I felt like that house was ME...hard to explain..but I figure if I can't get it back someday...I will haunt it when I die...
It's where I was the happiest..
Anyway,enough of the past...I must get on with my future...whatever it may be..
Out came the antique dishes,the old cookbooks,the golden silverware,the cloth napkins...the crystal...the Turkey in the refrigerator to un-thaw..the stuff is out to make the pies, and I found my Turkey shaped cake pan,I might actually make one! I wish I could take pictures, but I loaned my camera to Adam as he is in Florida visiting his family...so no pictures this year of Thanksgiving!
I'm only having four for dinner this year,none of them my blood family,though I am going to call around tonight and see if any of them want to come for desert! One bright note this year,James chose to come be with his father and I this year rather then be with his girlfriend's family,a welcome and unexpected surprise..
Eric's family is split up this year because, well to put it blunt I refused to make dinner for everyone at his Father's house.(I am not Eric's mother and I cannot fill her shoes..)if I had the room here it would be different,I prefer to cook in my own home,too much work in someone else's kitchen,and you never seem to find the things you need,which would stress me out to no end,as I have a very organized kitchen! anyway they got mad at us and decided to do their own things,and his father went home to his mother's in Maine ! So we are on our own this year,our first real Thanksgiving together in this house.
Time to make new memories...

Memories

Memories flow through my mind,

food and pies of every kind.

New scratches on the floors,

added to the old,

as family glide from room to room,

in and out the doors.

Out with the old,

in with the new,

good memories I hold,

regrets but a few.

and most things I find,

are just memories in my mind.....

Terri Haag

OK, not my best but it just flowed out while sitting here! Dam that was kind of depressing wasn't it? LOL
Well, in the famous words of Dorothy;

" There's no place like home"...

Update on illness.....

2008-11-22T21:50:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm alive......that's really not saying much though. I finished all my antibiotics,did all the right things and was feeling really great........
I went to bed.

I woke up.

OMG it's back with a vengeance! One day off the antibiotics and I feel even worse then I did two weeks ago.
So I called my Dr. who decided I should try some Benadryl,or Claritin,take some Tylenol for the screaming headache and call him on Monday if I didn't feel better... In another word take two aspirin (and call me in the morning) and call me another day I can't be bothered right now.

Screw that! I fought back... and I got angry with him and told him that I had already tried all that crap the week before I came to see him,and that it was much worse now then when I did go to see him! I had to argue this point,with a killer headache,for about ten minutes,and repeat myself four friggin times! but I guess I finally got my point across because I am on another course of antibiotics and something different this time for the nausea and vertigo.He gave them to me but had a real attitude about it..but I don't give a shit because after one dose of the new stuff, I'm at least able to function again...and Tylenol? PHHTTT!
that shit don't work for me..I took Motrin just to thumb my nose at the Dr. not to mention on the rare occasions I do get headaches, it's the only danged thing that works!

Keep your fingers crossed for me..maybe this will do the trick, if it doesn't I don't know what I'm going to do,but it might just drive me insane!

I'VE GOT THE ILLNESS BLUES....

2008-11-18T19:15:00.004-05:00

I'm not one to complain much about how I feel,but I have been sick so much lately I'm getting the blues!

I haven't had much energy to do much let alone write on my blog. And I love writing, so that tells you I'm really feeling like shit.

Last year at this time I came down with something similar,yet not as bad,that hung on for a little over two months. This time I was screaming "UNCLE!" and begging, yes begging to go to the Dr's. !!!

First off this started about four weeks ago...I went for six month checkup and was told I had a bladder infection,and I was also starting a sinus infection. Anywho I went on something called BACTRIM that was supposed to take care of both problems...UHHUH...OK.

Approximately three days after finishing that course of antibiotics, I woke up to the room SPINNING! It felt like I had drunk way too much,and was going to be really sick. I got up and literally bounced off the walls for about four days,getting sick to my stomach, the Vertigo just would not go away! I finally begged to be taken to the Dr's., I knew there was no way I was going to get better with out intervention.

At the Dr's. office he took one look at me said, "not feeling good huh?"

( UMMMMMM..OK,yeah that could be why I'm sitting here in your office dumb shit..)OK I didn't say it..lol..BUT I was feeling it.

He looked at my ears, throat,listened to my lungs,and then said, "Well it's not pneumonia". (DUH! I could have told him that!)

Anyway he told me my ears were OK,but my throat looked very irritated...(like I was getting) again something I already knew. Then he finally asked me what was wrong, (didn't read what the nurse wrote huh?) So I had to repeat myself yet again to tell him I had something funny going on in my head,and that I had severe Vertigo and that I was throwing up,and that I thought I have some kind of sinus thingy going on,yet I don't have any pain or pressure in my head.

Well he gave me Keflex 500mg 4xs a day! for 7 1/2 days...that's a lot of antibiotic. so every 6 hours I'm popping pills. NOW as to the Vertigo...he gave me Phenergan 25mg every 4 hours as needed...Now this is supposed to take care of the nausea AND the dizziness...well it took care of the nausea, BUT the Vertigo is still going strong, and the side affects are headaches, sleepiness and diarrhea! needless to say, I'm worried...the Vertigo should be gone by now,my sinuses are clearing up.

Just the act of getting out of bed makes me sick to my tummy,and rolling over in the middle of the night wakes me up with the feeling that I'm falling out of bed. I can't win these days,I'm so tired of being sick!

The only bright spot in all this??? I lost 22 Lbs.

BLESSED BE.

2008-11-01T00:00:00.001-04:00

HALLOWS BLESSING

To those whose feet are stilled

And those who laugh with us no more

To you we say, our love was with you here

And goes with you hence

To that place where you rest and revel.

May the dark Lord and sweet Lady

Guide your feet along the rocky paths

To the place where all is fresh and green

And lover, friends and ancestors wait

With open arms to greet you.

Go in peace, and with our blessing

Be rested and return when the Lady deems it fit

With the countless turns of the Great Wheel

We shall miss you

We shall meet you again in the green places of Her domain

SAMHAIN CHANT

This chant can be outdoors around a bonfire or inside around an extra large altar candle.

Fire red, summer's dead,

Yet shall it return.

Clear and bright in the night,

Burn, fire, burn!

Dance the ring, luck to bring,

When the year's aturning.

Chant the rhyme at Hallowstime,

When the fire's burning.

Fire glow, vision show

Of the heart's desire,

When the spell's chanted well

Of the witching fire.

Dance the ring, luck to bring,

When the year's aturning.

Chant the rhyme at Hallowstime,

When the fire's burning.

Fire spark, when nights are dark,

Makes our winter's mirth.

Red leaves fall, earth takes all,

Brings them to rebirth.

Dance the ring, luck to bring,

When the year's aturning.

Chant the rhyme at Hallowstime,

When the fire's burning.

Fire fair, earth and air,

And the heaven's rain,

And blessed be, and so may we,

At Hallowstide again.

Dance the ring, luck to bring,

When the year's aturning.

Chant the rhyme at Hallowstime,

When the fire's burning. ...

by Valiente, Doreen

I SO WILL IT, SO MOTE IT BE.

BLESSED BE.

Happy Halloween?

2008-10-31T22:47:00.004-04:00

I had thought to do this BIG wonderful post tonight with lots of pictures of all the little critters that would come to my door. I had run out of candy last year,and had over sixty children trekking to my door!

So this year I was ready for battle. I made up eighty three bags of creepy goodies for all the ghosts,and goblins I just knew would be arriving some time after 6PM, and I patiently waited in the trenches with my trusty camera.....

And I waited.....

7PM...five showed up...nothing really spectacular to photograph...

Back to waiting..

8PM....get hit by a crowd of kids(about 10),half of them not really in costume,UM.....WTF?

Still no pictures!

By 9PM I gave up..and now I have a TON of left over candy! what a waste of time and money. How can I go from so many last year to less then half that number this? I thought about it,and figured maybe because it fell on a Friday maybe the kids were taken by their parents to parties. Such is my luck. With so much candy left, that will probably get thrown out I will probably decide against doing it next year at all. Besides the kids didn't even look happy and most don't even say "TRICK OR TREAT" any more! It sure isn't like when I was a kid. I miss the old days!

Eric picked out the body parts!

I threw in glow-in-the-dark fangs for a goof.

All this candy got put into these cute little bags and plastic containers.

Candy anyone???

Happy Halloween!

The World's Grossest Candy!

2008-10-09T09:47:00.000-04:00

OK, I'm not a candy eater,but with the Halloween season upon us, I went looking for candy for the little critters that will be knocking at our door before we know it.. And what to my surprise did I see???

I saw some of the grossest candy I have ever seen in my life!

OK, I get the bug thing, BUT ZITS???..When did zits become so popular?

most people I know just want to get rid of them,never mind seeing them made into candies of all things! LOL

But I couldn't help myself I HAD to buy a box...NOW who to get to try them??? cause you KNOW there is no way this woman is putting a zit in her mouth even if it is just a gummy..I couldn't even get the kids to try them, so I asked Adam...He tried them..and said they were good..he even squished one on camera for me to show you! EWWWWWWWWWWW!

These are REAL!

ZIT popping video! LOL (thanks Adam for the help)

Now if that wasn't bad enough I also found this box of gross candy!

BOOGERS ANYONE???

(now this one I actually get!)

What kid (specially boys) wouldn't want their very own box of BOOGERS??

What better then booger to gross out all the little girls!

Booger flavors are as follows:

Snottermelon

Sour Green Boogie

Lemon Loogy

If you wish to see even more GROSS CANDY click here

YUM!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN????

2008-10-08T20:07:00.004-04:00

	VA - Lee Michaels - Do You Know What I Mean

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

While talking with my father today, I happened to say the phrase "Do you know what I mean?" to him. He then informed me that he hated that saying. Of course not realizing I had even said it,I had to ask what saying. He promptly said that I was talking "black " talk by saying do you know what I mean...WTF? BLACK TALK???. As this statement just flew out of left field,I was momentarily stunned.I took a few to digest this tid bit, then I tried to shrug it off,and said DAD! that's not black talk!,(and tried to chuckle a little here) everyone I know says that.

(hell even my mother says it! as she of course told me when I repeated the conversation to her! )

Anyway, I know it's not nice to make fun of your parent, but he asked for this one! SO, for your enjoyment, as you hopefully get a chuckle from this post,you will click on the embedded player at the top to hear the song "DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN" as it seemed to be appropriate background music for this story! I'm not prejudiced at all, and I know my father is old school, but I thought he had put that kind of stuff behind him years ago, I guess the older you get,the more you tend to go backwards in time with your thinking! maybe I am wrong, but in this case I fear I'm not. Seems he has reverted to his old ways. well hell he IS eighty after all ! And I am so not going to fight with him over this. BUT I am going to have fun with it!

So of course after I hung up with my father I had to call my sister Karen and tell her the story,who of course laughed pretty good over it,and then told me she would tell our other sister to say it to him! I laughed so hard and told her she was a Biotch,and I loved it!..then she laughed and said" I'll warn her first,you know what I mean? " OMG my father is so going to pay for what he said..

And then I called my mother..who had great fun with this story,and of course kept saying,"you know what I mean" and making me laugh even more!

So I sat and thought,how can we describe the ability to communicate an idea in which we cannot describe? We have conversations where we are never fully able to use words to say what we're trying to say. We circle around them, with metaphors and similes, but never say exactly what it is, end the statement with "Do you know what I mean?" and get a yes. Somehow we can come to a consensus on a topic without ever using a clear definition of that which we are speaking.

You know what I mean?

Don't get me wrong, I don't have trouble saying what I want to say, and I will stoop to anything to make myself understood, metaphor, simile, image, sound bites, cries, moans, songs, full body language.

You know what I mean?

Now that is the problem, frequently people don't even know what they say, or why they say it, so transference of meaning is impossible, especially considering the differences between individuals, and expectations, and desires.

And now I'm wondering IF even I know what I mean! "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"

I guess I must be chav! lol

Kathlicks.......A little baptism humor!

2008-10-08T11:05:00.002-04:00

In honor of the christenings of two of my great nephews this month I had to share this joke I received in an email from my best friend Lori in Florida! Thanks Lori!

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School . So they went to the nearest Church. But, only the Janitor was there . One little boy said, 'We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?' 'Sure,' said the Janitor. He took them into the bathroom and dunked their little heads in the toilet bowl, one at a time. Then He said, 'You are now baptized!' When they got outside, one of them asked, 'What religion do you think we are ?' The oldest one said, "Were not Kathlick, because they pour the water on you.' 'We're not Babtis, because they dunk all of you in the water.' 'We're not Lutrans, because they just sprinkle water on you.' The littlest one said, 'Didn't you smell that water?!' They all joined in asking, 'Yeah! What do you think that means?' 'I think it means we're Pisscopailians.

2008-10-08T08:55:00.002-04:00

SALMON PIE RECIPE

___________________

1 can pink Salmon,drained and DE-boned

5 cups of boxed mashed potatoes prepared I add some garlic powder to taste,not too much,salt,parsley flakes and EXTRA butter.

1 onion chopped up

2 boxes of two ready made pie crusts

put the onion and the salmon in a fry pan (I put in a little canola oil in to stop it sticking) and saute it. take off heat and add 5 cups of the prepared mashed potatoes. put pie crusts into two pie plates,and fill with salmon and potato mixture,top with crust,seal,flute edges,cut slits to release steam and bake at 350 degrees till crust is light brown. This can also be frozen before you cook it so you can enjoy it at another time!

try this as a side dish with it!

Sour Cream Salad

1 head of iceberg lettuce,chopped into bite size pieces

1 onion chopped up

1 container sour cream

mix together,chill,serve!

ENJOY!

The Christening

2008-10-07T20:03:00.008-04:00

A Christening for Wil Donovan Ricitelli

October, 5th 2008

1:15 PM

Mark & Michelle's new baby boy.

Mark, Michell with Wil,Godfather( Mark's brother),and Stacey,Godmother

Didn't matter how many shots I took,they all came out blurry at the baptism font!

First time daddy! looked a little uncomfortable!

Mark,michell Mark's brother,Brian(grandpa) holding Wil,Stacey and Shawn.
Kylie Dailey (Rene's daughter)

Kylie,Rene and little Jake.

Video Clip 1

Video Clip 2

Tuesday Afternoon...

2008-10-07T19:16:00.012-04:00

Tuesday afternoon, a beautiful day for a walk in the park........

I decided to take some time for myself today and just take a nice walk in Hubbard Park, home of Castle Craig.

The sun was shining, making the water sparkle like diamonds...The breeze was gently blowing the leaves around,and the nutty,leafy smell of fall was in the air as I watched the geese gathering in anticipation of their long flight South for the winter...and the squirrels were collecting their bounty of acorns to store for the upcoming winter...

What a beautiful wonderful fall afternoon!...

I watched as the wind blew the water from the fountains around..watched the water cascade over the small but pretty waterfall, and looked down upon the tracks of dinosaurs....while in the background stood the tower of Castle Craig, high upon the hilltop.

And for today at least...all was right in my world.......

Video Clip 1

Video Clip 2

Quote for the day!

2008-10-01T16:34:00.000-04:00

"Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So - if you give her any crap , you will receive a ton of shit."

Love and appreciate all the women in your life.

I'M A GRANDMOTHER?

2008-09-26T01:10:00.022-04:00

OK, If you know me,you know I have never given birth to a child. But for the last 7 years I have helped Eric,my boyfriend, raise his two sons.

Coming into a child's life in the teenage years isn't easy let me tell you, but I did it,and now the oldest's girlfriend has had a child...And his mother ( the "real" grandmother)wants nothing to do with this baby,so by default I have stepped into that role.

This is not an easy role to accept. But accept it I do.

And I will definitely have a problem with Eric's Ex if she so much as dares to get involved after what she has said and done. I'm sorry but she doesn't deserve the title of "grandmother". She has refused to acknowledge this baby, or the baby's mother. Never sent a present for the shower,no call NOTHING. And YES she knows. Eric's youngest boy tells her everything,to her HE is the perfect one, and her oldest is the screw up. I always thought that a parent should love all their children equally.

Let's face it, YES he was too young for this,but it's too late now...and WHY should the baby pay such a terrible price? It's not his fault. R-----,YOU are a sorry excuse for a mother, and I DON"T and WONT apologize for saying that! YOU gave your boys up because YOU couldn't deal with them,YOUR loss,was my gain and my pain because you screwed them up and I had to help Eric fix them!

It was really hard, and you were not there for them at all,and when I tried to include you,you just said do what you have to.....WHAT kind of mother says that to her kids father's girlfriend? No wonder they got so messed up.

They KNOW what you are like now. AND we never had to say a bad word about you to them, they grew up and saw you for what you really are.

There may be people who wont agree with what I am saying, I really don't care.

You, as far as I am concerned, gave up your rights to be called grandma. I am officially taking your place!

You will never get a chance to hurt that baby if I can help it. I plan on being here for him. You I know, could care less. I saw what you wrote in the Christmas card you sent J---- last year,you are a real bitch. I could have shown that card to Eric or EJ..I didn't. I don't have to do anything,you screwed up your relationships with them all by yourself! LOL They talk trash about you all the time behind your back,and STILL we say nothing. It's better that way. Because it's all on YOU. Keep up the good work, Oh yeah, heard your daughters are moving in with their father, heard they can't stand you either.( could it be your alcoholic boyfriend) That is so sad. I pity you.AND now that I got that off my chest..Too bad she will probably never see this lol, But hey you NEVER know!

and now back to MY new grandson!

WELCOME

Daniel Rey Brochu!

born on

September 24 th 2008

weighing in at

8 lbs. 13 oz.

he measured

19 1/2 inches long

and his head measured

34 1/2 cm

STICK EM' UP KID!

And I, took the first formal picture!

Because,well I can, so I did!

and we didn't have to pay an outrageous fee for the hospital photographer to do it!

because I'm just as good,maybe better! lol (yup I'm patting myself on the back lol)

you can't see it in this picture, but he has a distinct cleft in his chin that looks just like his granddad's!

A head full of hair,and the funkiest toes you ever saw!

His grandpa said he'll be able to write with them! lol

OK, now here come the videos clips!

(give me a break will ya? I HAD to do this! I'm new at this Grandma thingy! lol)

Grandma changing the diaper (of course) and Grandpa taking video AND soothing baby!

This one is grandpa teasing him about his toes!

And this one is grandpa tickling baby with his beard!

And Last but not least, a compilation of still pictures set to the music of

Blood,Sweat & Tears - God Bless The Child

Lyrics

Them that's got, shall get
Them that's not, shall lose
So the Bible said, and it still is news
Mama may have, and papa may have
God bless' the child,
That's got his own
That's got his own
Yes the strong seem to get more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets don't
Ever make the grade
As mama may have
And papa may have
God bless' the child
That's got his own
That's got his own.
And when you got money,
You got a lots of friends
Crowdin' 'round your door
When the money's gone
And all you're spendin' ends
They won't be 'round any more
No, no, no more
And rich relations
May give you
A crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don't take too much
Mama may have
And your papa may have
But God bless' the child
That's got his own
That's got his own
God bless' the child who can stand up and say
I've got my own
Ev'ry child's, got to have his own!

Glucerna....

2008-09-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

GLUCERNA

I'm a DIABETIC.

It's just one of those things that happen in life.

It can really put a damper on your life style,and can take a terrible toll on your body and mind.

But again, that is LIFE. and so I try to deal with it the best I can. And when my blood sugars go totally out of whack,I reach for Glucerna,and on a diet I go!

Glucerna is kind of like Slim Fast, but is made specially for diabetics. I first tried it back in 1999 when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. It wasn't the greatest tasting, but I was able to lose weight and balance my blood sugar really well so I stayed on it for over two years.

Then the wicked food monster reared it's ugly head and said I was missing out on all the good things in life, like FOOD! lol and I slowly retreated to my old eating habits. Bad, Bad thing to do. and so here I am all messed up and back at the start again. And so I have decided to reach for my old friend,Glucerna again. I opened the first bottle and drank. It's so good tasting now I couldn't believe it! YUMMY!

Anyways suffice to say, I am back on my diet,and my stomach is screaming for food,but I am resisting because I know after two weeks of agony I will prevail and the hunger pangs will subside. I know in my head this is all worth it.

I need to do this,need to get healthy and stay there this time. I am not getting any younger and it will get harder to bounce back.

But I still miss my food.....LOL!

Autumnal Equinox

2008-09-22T15:07:00.010-04:00

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. Albert Camus

Autumnal Equinox

The Autumn equinox signals the beginning of Fall. It is the point where there is exactly 12 hours of daylight and 12 hours of darkness at the equator. If you live anywhere else, however, you will see a little bit more or a little bit less than 12 hours of daylight. The daylight hours are dwindling and will continue to do so until we reach the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year and the start of winter.
In ancient times, the Autumn Equinox was cause for a variety of pagan festivals. Oh goody! lol I'm such a Pagan! This is my favorite time of the year. And the time when the "witch" in me feels free to fly!

May your fall be filled with the smells and memories of your childhood. Go out and walk and enjoy it!

I so will it, so mote it be!

Creepy Crawlers On My Face!

2008-09-22T12:00:00.006-04:00

NEWS FLASH!!! The Halloween season of creepy things has begun early for me this year!!!!

About two weeks ago, (took me this long to be able to write this) I went to bed early, because, well, I wanted to, so I did, anyway I was sleeping the best sleep I had had for weeks, the kind of sleep you don't wake easily from, because let's face it,I was exhausted, I was out COLD!.

Well,as I was happily sleeping without dreams to disturb the blissful shut down of my over imaginative brain cells..something out of the ordinary for most people happened to me.

I came awake with the awareness that something was wrong...VERY wrong.

Not yet daring to move a muscle (thinking there was someone in my room) I lay there in the darkest part of the night..waiting for a sound,senses on overload...........

And felt something MOVE on my cheek! HOLY SHIT!

My hand came up really fast to brush the thing off of my face...OMG! it was still there! So I swiped at it a second time,succeeded in getting it off,threw the covers off as I switched on the light breathing hard and fast..

I immediately started to look on the bed to see what it was...nothing...so I got out of bed and looked around the floor...nothing again! Now I'm wondering if I really felt anything,or if maybe I was dreaming.

Then I looked at the side of the mattress... this is what I saw.EEEEEEEEEEKKK!

Now, there is something you don't know (unless I told you already) I was bitten by a spider about three years ago. I never saw what kind, but it did make me pretty ill, and I had a rash up and down the arm I was bitten on and some on my chest too. You could clearly see the puncture wounds which means the spider was bigger then I probably want to imagine! What ever it was, it's venom decided to eat away at my arm and created a wonderful small hole that looked absolutely ghastly! It also gave me a staph infection. The end result was a trip to the hospital,IV fluids, and antibiotics( and a large emergency room bill)...Such fun.

Now I have permanent scars to add to my collection.

(see pictures)

So now you can imagine my horror at seeing that spider,and knowing it had been on my face. I quickly got a cup from my nightstand and captured the critter,then I ran fast to a mirror to see if I had been bitten,cause believe it or not I never felt the bite I had received three years ago! Anyway luck was with me,and I was not bitten. The thought of having that kind of scar on my face was kinda freaking me out. Anyway, I took the prisoner to the bathroom to exam him and see if I could get good enough pictures to identify it, pretty good pictures, but after HOURS of exhausting searches,I still could not identify the kind of spider it was.

So if anyone out there happens to know what the hell kind it is, I would appreciate if you leave me a message telling me. I have included a video below with lots more pictures and my hand and spoon to give you a sense of the size of the spider.

My Boy friend Eric says that because we haven't in so long I have cobwebs...and the spider to prove it!

Glad he could laugh about it...Men!

(so he bought me these! LOL)

P.S. I had a hard time sleeping in my room for about a week after.

Super Woman by Alicia Keys

2008-09-18T15:30:00.001-04:00

Lyrics

Bouncing Back.......SUPER WOMAN!!!

2008-09-18T15:09:00.006-04:00

HI everyone!, Like I said,I'm like the bumble and I bounce! lolI'm feeling much better, no more headaches!

I also have been very busy lately..
I started finally unpacking some more of my things! I know, about time!What can I say,sometimes life over takes you and you just don't get the things done that you want to!
The living room furniture is finally in the right places.
At least till we can afford to get furniture that is made to fit the size of the room better. But as with everything it takes time. I am currently designing a computer center to fit in a corner of the living room..I can not seem to find a computer desk that will fit properly without costing about $400.00 plus dollars!
(and I can think of a better way to spend that much money! lol)
So I decided to rework the center I had designed in my other home. Why waste it? I have it down on paper,now if I can get the guys to make it I'll be all set! lol

I also finally unpacked all my stereo/karaoke equipment! I have missed singing more then I thought!I didn't mark any of the wires in the move so it took me all night to get it all straightened out and work right!
was laughing at myself because I was too stubborn to read the manuals (I expect way too much of myself, like thinking my brain can remember all the wiring diagrams from years ago! lol, heck I read them once shouldn't have to do it again!, should I ? lol)

Yup stubborn....Three hours later I gave in...

I had everything hooked right except one piece!And that's not bad considering there are five pieces! (6 if you count the record player I still have to unpack and hook up!)
I am pretty good if I say so myself! (patting myself on the back)
Well anyway I also unpacked all my CDs,karaoke CDs,music books,karaoke books etc! which I had to carry up from the cellar where they were stored all by myself...about thirteen boxes in all,and all the stereo equipment as well...uhhuh..ALL BY MYSELF.........(who did I think I was Super Woman?)

( If I looked like this I wouldn't have to lift a finger!)

This was not a good thing to attempt after being ill for a while...nope, sure wasn't ! lol(all those muscles I hadn't used for a couple months were like limp wet noodles!)

But I got er' done! Yes sirree! I did!

And now I hurt just about everywhere ...

But the music sure is sweet to my ears,as I sit here nursing a sore shoulder,kinked back,and a slightly sprained ankle...Did I learn my lesson?..ummmmmmmmmmmmmnot really hheheh...I cleaned the house, cleaned the bird cages,made a big pot of home made tomato sauce,made tomorrow night's dinner of eggplant parmesan,(including an extra pan to take to my father's tomorrow morning) did laundry,and baked some banana bread,prepped things for tonight's dinner...and all before 1PM..

And now I have time for a nap!

Update....On me.

2008-09-08T19:54:00.003-04:00

I'm sorry I haven't been writing lately. I have been fighting an illness that seems to keep me sleeping quite a lot.
I did go to the Dr. but other then the inside of my nose being swollen(yeah that was fun having a light stuck up my nose)...The diagnosis was ...I don't know..Beats me. But your inside of your nose is swollen,here try this steroidal spray...
LOL Yes you read that right. So much for going to see a Dr.
I have been experiencing headaches almost daily for three weeks(eating aspirin like candy)...and I am not a person prone to headaches!
My sinuses are not blocked,but seem to be aggravated some (but no techni-colored snot)..my eyeballs feel swollen,and burn a little...and I have a rash along my chin line now,and my neck aches something fierce at times,I'm nauseous a lot and anything I eat seems to come out fast...one end or the other!
I was thinking it was some form of allergies,but my allergy meds don't seem to touch it..I took a course of antibiotics for possible sinus infection...all to no avail! And I'm so sleepy it's not funny.
So for now I am just listening to mom,sleep heals..and so I don't fight the sleep..And NO it's not depression...that I did experience once...and it's so not funny..but I do know the difference.
So bear with me my friends...I'll eventually get back on my feet. I always do.
Because, like the Bumble I bounce!

ABSINTHE.....The Green Fairy..La Fee Verte...To drink or not to drink?

2008-08-31T06:00:00.015-04:00

Absinthe...The GREEN FAIRY...Is it safe to drink?...Is it legal here? All questions can be answered by going to this site by Clicking here

The history of ABSINTHE

How to make it...Original recipes

Absinthe

When I went to England in 2000, I had this strange urge to try as many "old" time things as possible.
I am an avid reader,and like most I watch Movies,and documentaries.
During some of these past times,I became aware of a liquor called Absinthe.
It's claim to fame was the supposed hallucinatory effects it had on the human brain!
I knew it was illegal here in the USA, so of course as a person of great curiosity,yes curiosity killed the cat,but remember satisfaction brought him back!, I decide the amongst all the other things I had vowed to try,this was one I wasn't leaving there without. And the search was on.
I found a bottle of it at small shop in Britain..and it was sold to me with a warning from the proprietor.
Do not drink it straight. DO use the sugar and water. And above all be very very careful. enjoy! said with a smirk upon his face.
I was thinking that maybe he was having me on,you know pulling my leg. I decided that I would take the bottle home with me to try as it had been VERY expensive to buy.($150.00 USD)
I have to tell you that I did follow the following ...

THE CZECH ABSINTHE RITUAL
Pour a shot of Absinthe in a small tumbler. Take a teaspoon of sugar. Dip the teaspoon into the absinthe so that the sugar absorbs the liquor. Then, holding the spoon above the absinthe, set light to the sugar. Let it burn for a minute or so. The sugar will bubble and begin to caramelise. Once the flame is beginning to die down, stir the shot of absinthe with the sugared spoon (smothering the glass if it catches alight). Now add an equal measure of water and some ice if required.

This I was sure was the way to do it..at least all the reading I had done then had pointed to this.
I have now found out that there is another way which I also would love to try..

ORIGINAL ABSINTHE SERVING RECIPE
The original absinthe recipe: first you pour roughly three ounces of absinthe into a heavy parfait-style stemmed absinthe glass. A perforated absinthe spoon is set upon the rim of the glass and on the spoon is placed a cube of sugar. Ice-cold water is ever so slowly dripped from a glass carafe onto the cube. The sugar dissolves and you continue pouring until the ratio of absinthe to water is about two to five parts, depending upon your taste and fortitude. Give the absinthe drink a spin with the spoon and drink like you dripped - slowly.Want to get the most out of your Absinthe? The active ingredient thujone has its best effects within a half hour of drinking. Afterward, the effect you feel will be purely alcohol based, so make sure to pace your drinking so you enjoy the wormwood and the alcohol over the length of your experience. As always, drink responsibly and in moderation.

One of these day I vow I will do this too,unfortunately for me I discovered I actually liked it and the bottle I had brought home I'm sad to say didn't last long,and is now a distant memory....

I can say that the buzz you get from it IS very different..though not long lasting,as for taste..very strong licorice taste. It is difficult to describe exactly what absinthe does to you. The effects are mild when compared to some other drugs available out there, but are very nice none-the-less. The best way I can describe the effects of drinking 5 glasses of absinthe is that it is similar to drinking several shots of liquor, eating a single mushroom cap, and smoking a tiny amount of opium at the same time,( I can only imagine this is what it is like because I have never eaten a mushroom cap,or smoked opium..LOL) For the most part it just gets you drunk, but it also gives you a nice, warm, relaxing,dreamy, slightly narcotic buzz.

As most people already understand, different alcohols will give you a slightly different kind of buzz. Absinthe is no exception. But I think the secondary effects of Absinthe are a little more obvious than with other Alcohols. You'll just need to try it for yourself to understand what I'm talking about.

Did I see the GREEN FAIRY? I could tell you...but I wont.....try it yourself..trust me,it's an experience you'll never forget.

Meet my not so Royal Family.....

2008-08-18T20:31:00.007-04:00

I found this neat picture gallery at The Tudors web site. You put your own face in the portraits. I decided to add some of my favorite people to them! (also limited to those of whom I have pictures that would fit!)

Myself as The Queen

(of course, because after all it is MY blog! )

The Duke & Duchess Of Salmon! Long may they Live! Happy 31st Anniversary!

My Sister Duchess Lorraine Of Colagiavani

Her Husband Duke Anthony of Colagiavani

The Queen Mother

The King Father and (imaginary mistress)what he really wants in life! lol

Last but not least the Queen's Consort Eric

If only we had the money to go with the titles! What a life it would be!

Makeover Time!

2008-08-18T03:17:00.004-04:00

I' m getting to the age where I'm just not happy any longer with my overall look...Let's face it I'm getting older and fatter. I decided to try this new virtual makeover thing at Life Time Movie Network.

I did it, and decided it's not half bad!...Took off a few years too...I am NOT brave enough to post the ACTUAL before picture lol,you have to scrape all your hair back,take off any makeup,and basically take a mug shot!

(also got nakie for it! LOL)

Now when your my age,(44)you just don't show those kind of pictures to any one, Hell you burn it after you get the results you wanted! lol. I haven't been feeling very well lately which is why I haven't been posting any stories..I'll get back to that soon...But I figured this would give my readers (THREE) something to talk about!

This is me in my PJ's with my long hippie hair...

I really need to do something with it,but after growing it out this long it seems a shame to cut it all off.

So since I haven't quite decided what to do with it (and I'm chicken shit to cut it) I decided to do the virtual makeover!

And WA LA!

A NEW me

What do you think? Should I go for it?

New rug........It's in! ............FINALLY!!!!

2008-08-04T21:47:00.018-04:00

OK,The rug is in,FINALLY! lol Only took six months to do!
As I wrote in the previous post,It always seems that when I plan anything,something comes up to put it on the back burner of my life.
Sometimes I feel like poor ol' Eeyore, with that little black rain cloud that always seems to follow him around. As Eeyore says " There's only one rain cloud in the entire sky and somehow I'm not surprised it's raining on me." Boy lately that statement could describe my life!
(just insert my face over Eeyore's!)

So here we are 3/4 of the way through putting the rug in,and I look up at the sky..........

My very own personal little black rain cloud!

Directly over our house,a little black rain cloud...(sun shining everywhere else around it!)just sitting there like it is watching us,waiting for the most opportune time to piss on us...........
And It started to sprinkle....But we were almost done,so it didn't matter much by then...BUT it made it's point...("If you do something,I can and will piss all over you if I want!")

Anyway,here are the pictures of that NASTY,DIRTY,DISGUSTING rug!

Isn't that just the most beautiful(sarcastically said) dirty spotty rug you have ever seen?

And the ripping out had begun!

This is Dana Brochu,owner of Flanders Flooring II.

There was hardly any pad left underneath the rug,it had disintegrated over the years! EWWW!

OMG! the dirt and nasty allergens underneath! EWWWWWWWW! had me running for cover! I would stick my head in snap a picture and head back outdoors!

Old stains,probably dog urine from the looks of it,and years of dirt and germs!
(I really don't want to know!)

And they did all this WITHOUT gloves on! I had the Hebe Jeebies just watching! LOL

Then they sent me in to sweep and vacuum and (disinfect with germicide while they were busy outside and not looking) I had on gloves and a mask! lol I really,really don't like germs or allergens,and I wasn't taking any chances this time!Floor all clean,and the nice thick VIRGIN padding was ready to go down.

You want to know the difference between recycled padding and virgin,call Dana and ask him..It will give you the creeps!(recycled isn't very clean!)

Padding all done!

Kicking out the carpet!Cutting the carpet to fit.

Backside of Dana!(sorry Dana! couldn't resist!)

After clean up and vacuuming, we put the furniture back in...Though I 'm not sure it's going to stay where it is,the carpet is done,the room is clean,the windows are washed and ready for curtains....and I am realizing that the smell I had been smelling is gone........
must have been that disgusting old rug!
(What a depressing and disgusting thought!)

New rug? Maybe?

2008-08-02T22:35:00.004-04:00

Have you ever noticed(or maybe it's just my luck) that when you plan to do something,It always seems like something else crops up to put it on hold?
Well for about 6 months now I have had a brand new rug and padding waiting patiently in our garage to be put into the living room...YES , you saw that right 6 months!
Well, we planned it again for this Saturday..(today) and guess what? it rained....again...
Every weekend that we have decided THIS will be the weekend it goes in....it has rained!
OK, what gives here? Is it just my bad luck?...well we decided that it's going in EARLY in the morning so that we can beat the rain this time!..(I hope)
So off to bed early I am going..If all goes well, the rug will be in tomorrow! FINALLY!!!!!
I will probably be out of touch here for a few,because along with the new rug,comes redecorating and some more unpacking to do,so I should be busy a good part of this week,not to mention I have to tear down this computer first thing in the morning, and I am not sure when I will have the time to get it back together..
All I can say is..goodbye dirty,nasty,spotty,nasty,icky,stained,gross old rug! I will NOT miss you in the least!
Keep your fingers crossed that I don't get rained out yet again...I need all the help I can get!
See Ya all soon!