AM I WRONG TO FEEL THIS WAY?

Well here I am again! A lot has been going on in my life and unfortunately my blog has had to take a back seat. I have probably lost all my regular readers and that makes me sad, as I always enjoy the feedback from here.
But as they say out of sight, out of mind!

This weekend is Mother's Day weekend, and last year I had gotten an unexpected surprise..a card from my boyfriends youngest, wishing me a Happy Mother's Day...the two of us have been getting along really well, and I was looking forward to seeing him tomorrow with another card in hand...I was wondering if last year was just a dream. I never expected it, so it meant even more to me then I can explain.

This year my hope has been dashed to the ground. The kids mother has decided to take a slight detour on her wayward trucking route (lives in a truck with new husband driving tractor trailer cross country..long story) and has decided to land on my boyfriend's sister's doorstep begging a room to stay in so that she can be here to see her children...SAY WHAT?!??!?!?!?!? This woman who broke her husband's heart by cheating on him (oh yes I went there) with his COUSIN on top of it, dares to ask to stay at one of his family members houses! and to make it worse she is letting her stay there instead of telling her to get a room at a motel! Not only that, to add insult to injury, had the audacity to have her kid ask my boyfriend, her EX HUSBAND, if she could borrow one of his cars for the weekend! (oh yes she did!)

Now as my BF would say, "When I took the kids to finish raising them I was finished with DOING anything for their mother, my commitment to her ended the day she slept with someone else" Granted he deals well with her on things to DO WITH the children, BUT they are 21 and 23 years old now, and no longer live at home. I am totally outraged at this newest intrusion into our lives..Don't get me wrong, she IS there Mother..I don't begrudge them being with her, not at all. It just seems like she only comes for certain things and it is usually to BENEFIT her in some way, and it's usually to take advantage of the younger kid because he makes good money (oh yes I did I went there) or so it seems from what the youngest tells his dad.

But she IS their mother, and so I get to take a backseat yet again. And the BF wonders WHY I have issues with his children. I am tired of being the one to pick up the pieces after they have been hurt. SO now I know I wont be getting that surprise visit tomorrow, a card, or just a plain phone call...

Their real mommy is here, they wont even think about me, the one who still patches up the cuts when they get hurt (they often get hurt working on cars) the one they tell the good news to when they are bursting with happiness about something they did, or something they just got,( the youngest just bought his first truck...I was the first he showed it to that very night!) the one who makes them cakes on their birthdays from scratch, and cooks them a dinner of their choice that day...the one who still mends those ripped jeans, and keeps their dad happy...the one who watched them go on their first dates, got them ready for their proms, took pictures of all the special moments in their lives and scrap booked them,watched them receive awards and graduate..when their REAL mommy couldn't be bothered to be here, except graduation days (for which I got excluded from a lot of because SHE was here) I get to be the glorified girlfriend yet again.

And for that I am sad..again.

As much as I didn't like my stepmother, out of respect for my father I always treated her well, and acknowledged her on mother's day( she deserved it for just putting up with my father all those years), and told my real mother I did so. I never hid that, and never felt I had to.
I love my mother dearly (as you know mommy you are my everything!) But I always do the same for her husband on father's day, even though my real father is still alive.

I wonder if there will ever come a day that this stuff just rolls off my back and doesn't hurt? AM I wrong to feel this way?